Hetalia x Reader (shorts, bonuses, scenarios and previews)

IRONY (Romano) 1

WARNING: This was a request. It deals with depression and suicidal thoughts along with shades of potential physical or sexual assault. 

DISCLAIMER: I apologize for using something like death as a way to dramatize a story but in no way do I see suicide as a situation or matter that is to be taken lightly. I have no right to say this but I'll state it anyway: if you or anyone you know seems to be manifesting traits and/or showing signs of being suicidal, please seek help because I genuinely believe that everyone should have a chance in being happy.

HIM

I called her name for the third time and that seemed to have caught her attention. Her eyes widened for a moment and she recoiled a bit from her hunched shoulders as though she just woke up from a dream. She probably did.

"What the Hell is wrong with you? Have you even been paying any attention to what I've been saying for the last—" I glanced at my wrist watch "For the last five minutes?"

She looked up but she didn't look at me "Sorry about that, Lovino. I was... thinking of work"

I wanted to tell her that she was telling me utter crap because I knew it wasn't work. She loved her job and dedicated her life to it. If anything, it was because she was thinking of that, and I immediately felt like crap. I wanted to support her but I didn't know how. She was in pain and I was complaining that she wasn't paying attention to my usual random ramblings.

She had her attention back at the sunset, her elbow bent on the wooden fence and her cheek leaning on one palm. Face drowned in soft orange and warm red, her eyes seemed like they were looking beyond what was in front of them. For a moment it was as though she wanted to just jump into the sea and swim towards that orange ball dipping down the horizon where she could find whatever it was she was looking for.

I wanted to grab her and force her to look at me, as in look at me. I wanted her to see what she's made me feel; something that I thought only Feliciano could get, I wanted her to see that I know that I was not perfect but I would do anything to make her feel what she made me feel: like I've found something that I didn't even know that I was so desperately looking for in so many years spent in my brother's shadows.

"Ragazza, it's getting late, y'know" I stretched my arms upward "Want me to take you home?"

"Appreciate it" She finally turned to me, but I still saw the sunset in her eyes. 

I reached for her hand but she pulled it away, almost gasping as she did so. Both of my brows arched instantly when we locked gazes for a second before she put her arms behind her and she bowed her head "Let's just... let's just go back to the car, okay?" She didn't bother to wait for my response and with her head still hanging down, I watched her make her way inside my car.

"Thanks for the ride, Lovino" She grinned weakly at me but I didn't return it.

"Whatever. Potato bastard would get angry and Feliciano would cry if I leave you by the cliff"

She laughed lightly and I felt my chest loosen a bit at this. I couldn't remember the last time she even chuckled "Okay. Good night, Lovi" She unbuckled her belt and got out. She started for her apartment building but I remembered something.

"Don't forget about my idiot brother's birthday, ragazza! He'll bitch about you not giving him any presents like last year" I yelled when she was almost inside.

I let myself smile when I heard her say "okay" between chuckles.

HER

I watched from behind the blinds as Lovino drove away in his Ferrari, I felt guilty for acting so detached towards him. It couldn't be helped though, I couldn't keep my mind off that. 

I sighed and almost jumped when my phone started blasting off its ringtone. Calming down, I picked it up to see that it was mom. I hit the 'ANSWER' button and put the phone on my ear, "Hey, mom. How's dad?"

"Still whining about our noisy neighbors" She replied, tired. My heart dropped. It was already around midnight back at their place. I checked the time, 18:56. Was she waiting for me or something? Guiltily, I forced out a laugh "Doing well then. That's great to hear"

There was a pause on the other end and my heart dropped even more "We're worried about you, baby girl" This again.

"I'm doing fine, mom. I promise"

"Are you sure?" Her voice seemed more panicked; more desperate, and then my stomach was eating itself "Your landlord called us and said that they're have been complains that you'd scream in the middle of the night"

My face heated up. My landlord was a good man, but a lot of my neighbors weren't "Oh" Was all I could reply and I heard my mother take a breath.

"Sweetheart, just come home. Even if it's just for a few days or weeks. You're not helping yourself out by forcing yourself to work while you're in pain—"I'm not in pain!" I yelled and I immediately clamped a hand over my mouth. I whispered this time "I'm not in pain. I'm totally fine, mom. I've been going to my checkups, I promise. I'll recover" Liar.

There was a whimper in the background "All right" Mom finally exhaled, I knew that she was holding her breath "Just... Just don't think that you're alone in this, okay? It wasn't your fault that it happened. We all miss that person" 

My eyes stung and I felt something warm roll down my face. I wiped it all off with the back of my hand, determined "I know, mom"

"G'night, baby girl"

"Night, mom. Tell dad to take it easy on the neighbors" We shared a brief laughter over the phone before I hung up.

After the beep followed the silence, and it was like the conversation never happened. The mirror in my vanity seemed to mock me when I saw that most of the bruises were still visible and the cuts and wounds that scarred my limbs from that time seemed to have been taking forever to disappear. My hands rubbed my arms and shoulders and I whispered to myself, "I'll recover..."