Shadows in The Dark

Chapter 23

Look. Look. *jumps up and down* it's the actor who will be playing Alan Matt Lanter!!

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Stephanie was purged along my locker wearing a black drape hoodie, red skirt, and lacy red three inch heels. As always her pale beautiful face was masked with black make-up. When I was within talking distance she said, “So.”

It wasn’t really a question but not really a statement. I knew she wanted an explanation for the funk I was in for almost three mouths. I didn’t know how much I could confide in her, so I keep it brief.

“Nervous break down.” I spun my locker combo and it popped open.

“Really.”

“Yes it’s a frequent thing for me.” I retrieved my algebra book and started to load other crap in my locker.

“Why don’t you trust me.” It wasn’t a question, it was an analyze.

“I don’t?”

She shut my locker just as I finished. Our eyes locked. Her voice had a slit edge, “You don’t but yet you can trust that human without a second thought. Why am I different?

I didn’t answer. Her eyes grew sad.

“What can she give you that I can’t?”

“I don’t know.” My answer was pathetic. I didn’t even know why I always had Stephanie at arms length.

“Is it because I can’t give you a normal friendship.” An accusation.

I didn’t want to fight. In someway Stephanie was always my rock. I didn’t always go to her but when I did she always understood.

I broke eye contact first and stared at my shoes. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t speak for a while. I looked up and Stephanie looked weary. She ran a hand through her black hair and turned on her heels. “Lets just get to class.”

She didn’t wait for a reply as she walked off and I followed suit. I wanted to explain but I couldn’t explain to myself what I was feeling about it all.

In algebra Stephanie didn’t even look in my general direction. I felt lonely. Was Stephanie that important to me? The thought of losing her sent panic through me.

I wanted to talk to her after class but by the time I got all my stuff gathered she was gone.

I walk to my next class feeling hollow in the inside.

I gave my elbow my full weight as I leaned on it. Alan pocked me with the eraser side of his mechanical pencil and mouthed, what’s wrong?

I gave a short laugh. What’s not?

His brows creased in worry. “Jaci,” he said softly. The way he said my name reminded me of a perfect snowflake that should be treated with delicacy.

I looked up at him through my long eye lashes. Stephanie is mad at me, I mouthed.

It’s been a long time since she has found a true friend.

I opened and closed my mouth.

Alan understood. They grow old and die. Secrets she can’t share with them.

I’m the same.

He shook his head softly. You’re different.

He turned his attention back to the board, leaving me regretful.