Chapter 32

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Chapter 32

Jax couldn’t sleep, there was too much going on inside his head but he was relieved to have Ariana asleep curled against him. Attraction had never been their problem, it was no surprised they went all the way in the heat and emotion of the moment.

He regretted scaring her. He had gone too far when he mentioned changing her. It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered it every moment he thought of her, it was just too soon to say it. He wished more than anything they could be happily together with no obstacle standing in their way.

She could decide right now she forgave him for lying and they could spend the next several years together but eventually she’d want more, she’d want children.

It wasn’t as easy as her agreeing to go through the change. It was dangerous. The bite had to be life threatening for the lycanthropy gene to take hold. He’d never forgive himself if she died because of him.

Jax hated to do it but he had to consider if it was best they did break up. Ariana deserved a full happy life with someone who could give it to her without the dangers or the risks.

He thought back to his mom and how she had suffered trying to protect her family. Ariana reminded him a lot of her, they were both fighters and stubborn.

Jax fantasized with the thought of his family being human, his mother would still be alive and he probably would’ve been more outgoing. He would’ve talked to Ariana at school and they could’ve had an ideal relationship. Things would be a lot better now, that was for sure.

He reached around Ariana’s back and held her close to his chest.

She stirred awake, lifting her head to peer into his eyes. She looked at him for a moment, sadness seeping back into her eyes before she asked the dreaded question. “Now what?”

Jax buried his hand along her hair. “We figure it out tomorrow.” He pulled her mouth up to his and kissed her. She tensed, probably worried that she should get back upstairs before someone realized she was gone, but that didn’t stop her from kissing him back.

Jax wasn’t worried about their parents or Julie, everyone upstairs was still asleep and would be for more hours to come. It was still dark out. He could feel the moon shining along his skin.

He laid her back on the bed, noticing the confliction along her hazel eyes. “We’ll figure it out.” He softly promised before claiming her body.

Just before dawn they were careful to put an end to their time together. Ariana was confidant she could get back to her room without anyone hearing and declined his offer to go with her just in case she needed a cover story.

Jax sat alone in bed feeling miserable. He and Ariana had connected on a physical level and left it at that. They hadn’t spoken about their situation again and when he tried she shot him down with a kiss or a touch.

She wasn’t ready to forgive his lies and he could understand that somewhere deep down even if he didn’t like it very much.

Ariana stayed locked inside her room trying to ignore the burn of regret and sadness in her heart. Against her will her mind continued to drift back to last night; Jax’s words. She loved him and it was beautiful to know he felt the same but life wasn’t that easy. In the end love was just the beginning. They needed trust and right now she didn’t have any toward him.

She knew he’d never intentionally hurt her but the lies were too much to swallow. It wasn’t as if he lied about something small, he lied about his whole life. He wasn’t human.  His whole family wasn’t human.

On top of all his lies she had to come to terms that his race even existed. Werewolves were real. What else was out there?

Her thoughts were cut short when her mother called her down for breakfast. She didn’t want to face the family but if she didn’t come down, her mother would worry and ask too many questions.

She placed down the book she had been attempting to read in hopes to forget about her own life and plastered a smile on her face to greet her mother.

Her mother was the only innocent in this mess, she went into this marriage with open honesty, and the same couldn’t be said for Mitch. It was hard to look at him now. It was awkward knowing everything he knew. Not only was he a lying werewolf, he also knew about her secret relationship with Jax. If he could smell her scent on his son then he very well knew they had sex.  Ariana’s face burned with embarrassment.

“Where’s Jax?” Mary asked, everyone else was seated around the table.

Ariana felt Mitch glance at her, she tried not to shy away and reveal her guilt. After all she wasn’t supposed to know anything. “I don’t know.”

“How’d the party go last night?” Julie asked, her eyes glinting with mischievous intent. “Maybe he’s tried from all the partying?”

“I don’t know.” Ariana answered. “I got home hours before he did. I don’t really like parties.” She reminded her little stepsister. She couldn’t find it in her heart to be mad at Julie; it wasn’t as if the young girl knew anything. She was just as clueless and in a few years she’d have bigger reasons to be upset. Ariana had been lied to but Julie was being lied to about her own heritage and about what to expect when her life drastically changes.

Julie sighed. “I got you dressed up all pretty and you left hours early. You’re such a bore.” She dragged the words out and meant to tease her.

Ariana smiled, it felt like it had been years since she last had rather than yesterday. “We can’t all be thirteen and popular geniuses.”

Mary chuckled. “Julie, go wake your brother up and tell him breakfast is ready.” She put the last plate of food on the table before taking her seat. “Did you at least have some fun before leaving?” she asked about last night’s party.

“I made sure Jolene saw me so she could drop the threat on my life.” Ariana took a page from Julie’s book and decided to crack jokes; it was easier then thinking back to the truth of what she had seen.

Julie stepped back into the kitchen with a small frown on her face. “He isn’t downstairs and his bed is made.”

“He did come home last night?” Mitch asked Ariana who nodded her head yes.

“He probably went out for a walk or something.” Mary said with a wave of her hand. “Let’s eat before this gets cold.” She wasn’t worried about Jax not being home, he always disappeared somewhere by himself.

It wasn’t that easy for Ariana to push aside. She wondered where Jax couldn’t gone and why he hadn’t at least told someone. He always mentioned something to her before he left the house.

They hadn’t left things on the best of terms but she still would’ve liked to have known he was ok. There were people got there, hunters, that wanted him and his kind dead. That scared her down to the fibers of her soul.

“Do you want to do something else today?” Julie was asking with a hopeful smile.

Ariana didn’t have the heart to say no. “Sure but no more clothes shopping. I had nightmares last night.” Her smile was weak but it was a step in the right direction.

All in all breakfast was pretty nice but Ariana was glad to be back inside her room. She had an hour to kill before Julie wanted to leave to the mall. She grabbed her book to find a slip of paper tucked inside of it.

The piece of paper unfolded into a page long letter. It was from Jax.

You’re right….” The first line read. “While you slept in my arms I couldn’t stop thinking about what we should be doing. I want you, I love you, but you’re right. Everything isn’t that simple. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because of me. We need some distance to be able to think straight and realize it’s better this way. You deserve better and I want you to find it.  Focus on school and your friends. Goodbye.”

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