OPEN-BRAIN SURGERY

dear sister

dear sister:

dear sister please eat. dear sister you need to eat. dear sister your ribcage is showing through you silk blouse. and dear sister i can number the bones in each of your crucified thighs. dear sister how many days has it been? dear sister since you've last seen yourself in the mirror? dear sister who's that girl in the mirror? dear sister with them dead eyes and the thick knots for lips? dear sister with them cracked teeth and the hole in her throat? dear sister with them dirty curls and dry smile? dear sister i think someone's stolen your face.

dear sister does he feed you? dear sister does he need you? dear sister does he knead you, like clay or flimsy flesh in his hand, into a caricature foreign, even to you? dear sister are your knobby knees still banging? dear sister they were colored chestnut two years ago. dear sister are they white now from kneeling or from swimming in bleached affection? dear sister are you starving? dear sister do you know hunger? dear sister hunger knows you.

dear sister open your mouth. dear sister close it, insects are coming. dear sister open it maybe he'll leave something sweet on your palette this time. dear sister close it he's pulled a knife and its tearing you to brown shreds. dear sister don't bite the hand that feeds you or you'll be left famished in the street. dear sister bite the hand that feeds you if it feeds you poison and calls it love, ready to eat. dear sister who is God? dear sister who is your god? dear sister you know God from god. dear sister how'd you let the devil get your heart? dear sister stop praying to the idols of firm skin and pink lip and boy scent. dear sister you're going to need more than a shower to wash this off. dear sister i don't blame you. dear sister i don't blame you at all.

dear sister i knew you. dear sister i know you. dear sister i know you look for attention disguised affection from the palms of hands that would rather smite you than light you. dear sister i know you're desperate for lovefire. dear sister i know you don't know love.

dear sister you know fear. dear sister you know what it means to be unwanted. dear sister you know what it means to be nothing. dear sister you know the lonely ways of the dirt. and dear sister you know the still of the dead bird. dear sister you know the agony of the crushed leaf. and dear sister you know the terror of bedless head. dear sister you know the empty of silence. and dear sister you hate the empty of silence but dear sister he cannot fill you. dear sister he is contamination of holy water pure. dear sister he is twice as desert as you are. dear sister he'll make a desert out of your ocean. dear sister swim ashore. dear sister these aren't the waters for girls like you. 

love sister