OPEN-BRAIN SURGERY

i am suicidal i am gay i am in love with death

if death should come like a woman

quiet as the night, with her head cocked to the side

hair plaited down the middle

mouth gummy and toothless so she can't bite

venom dripping like saliva

sharp knife or clear vial or silver-bulleted gun in back pocket

crimson-peach-cinnamon stained lips split open

by smile

i should leave this earth much more agreeably than

any man ever could. i'll lock fingers with her

cold hands, kiss bloodless flesh until it blooms

alive again, until the veins beneath

tangle and revive.

i'll love her like the women i didn't-couldn't love on the surface of the earth.

think–

date night on venus or mars

with the haloed saints and yellow stars

serving us white wine in golden glasses.

headstone reads: my only lover knew not morning air in groggy lungs

but lungs with all the air emptied out, with the air poisoned sweet.

shame fares poor amongst the deceased–

& a dead girlfriend is better than

none at all.

•

describe your crush 2 me if u have one in the comments and if u don't describe how ur favorite song makes me feel (these two things are more similar than u think)