Catching Feelings | Bwwm

25| Nala

Carsen West is the most persistent person I've ever met. After leaving his sister's birthday party, I came home and called Megan and told her she was right about Carsen all long and Megan didn't refrain from saying she told me so.

     Carsen called, left voice messages and texted - but I ignored every single one of them. He showed up at the apartment before the night was over and thankfully Vance told him I was already sleeping. If Vance was curious about why I was ignoring Carsen, he didn't ask any questions.

     This went on for about a week and to Carsen's credit, he didn't stop texting or calling which only made it harder for me to try to get over him. I wouldn't admit to anyone but I miss him. I miss his laugh, his smile, our witty banter, his strong arms, and his soft kisses. I miss being around him and it was slowly killing me inside every day that I couldn't see him or hear his voice.

     I know it makes no sense to be angry at him for playing me when it's the exact thing that I'm doing to him, but it's how I feel and I can't explain why.

     "Unless you want to start paying for the water pill, I suggest you turn that off." Vance's voice trickles in my daze and I blink to see him standing in front of me. He motions his head for me to look down where I see my hands are buried in suds and water in the sink which is practically filled to the top.

     "Shoot!" I gasp before I twist the knob before the sink can overflow. "Sorry."

     "Looks like your head was somewhere else." Vance says.

     "Looks like it." I pull both my hands out of the water and reach for the towel next to me.

     "Maybe his name starts with Carsen and ends with West."

     I give my brother a look.

     "Look, I know I'm not the guys biggest fan, but he treats you well and makes you smile. Now I don't know what he did but if it can be forgiven, forgive him. I don't like seeing you hurt." Vance kisses me on my forehead before walking out of the kitchen.

     I sigh as I turn my back to the sink just as my cell rings. My breath catches in my throat as I think it might be Carsen but it's Megan.

     I don't really want to talk to her but I know I don't have a choice.

     "Hello."

     "Making him miss you was cute the first two days but now it's going a little overboard. You can forgive him now."

    "What's the point? The whole reason we're doing this is so he could fall in love with me but I don't see how that's gonna happen if he's just seeing how long I last until I open my legs before he crawls back to Preslee."

     "He was going to go back to her after you regardless Nala. That's who Carsen is. Remember, this isn't about how you feel, it's about how you make Carsen feel. And it's been a week and if he hasn't lost interest already, he's gonna lose it soon and all the progress we made would be for nothing."

     "So you're saying I should suck up my feelings and go back to pretending we're a happy couple?"

     "Thank God I didn't have to spell it out!" I can hear her grinning on the other line. "Text me when it's done." She hangs up.

     I finish drying my hand on the towel before throwing it back on the counter.

     "Nala! I'm about to hop in the shower. Can you get the door when it rings? I order us pizza for tonight."

     "Okay!" I call back out before going to my room to change into my pizza eating pajamas which was just my blue and white boxers and an oversized tee. I pull my hair into a messy bun just as the door rings. I dash out of my room and grab the twenty I see on the counter and go up to the door.

"What are you-" I begin to say, but I'm cut off when Carsen begins to sing "Back at One" by Brian McNight.

It's like something out of those cheesy romance movies I watch. The guy serenading the girl. But this wasn't a movie. It's real life and Carsen West is really standing in my doorway singing my favorite love song. The one I told him about weeks ago when we talked on the phone for the very first time.

When he's done, he looks at me expectantly.

"So do you think you can come down here, sing my favorite song while looking this good and I'm supposed to just fall into your arms and forgive you?"

"Nala. Would you just let me explain? I'll admit that when we first started talking you were just a challenge for me and yeah, I did tell Preslee that I would come back to her after I had you." Carsen explains.

Damn. I knew it. But it was still hard to hear.

"But that was before I got to know you. You and your slick ass mouth, you and your ability to charm everyone around you and you who makes me feel less lonely. I don't want Preslee or anyone else for that matter. Not when I have you... do I still have you?"

"Yeah... Yeah, Carsen. You still have me." I tell him and before I can react Carsen is pulling me in his arms and kissing me deeply. I know I should fight him a little harder, but damn it, I'm weak when it comes to him.

"I've missed you." He tells me when he pulls away.

"I've missed you too."

"I'm glad you didn't take this off." He motions to the bracelet around my wrist. The same one he gave me at his sister's birthday party.

"I couldn't get myself to do it." I confess.

"Good."

"God, I wish I knew you were coming. I look a mess." I cringe, remembering that I'm wearing my pajamas.

"Why? You look beautiful."

"You're just saying that to stay in my good graces."

"I'm saying it because it's true."

I roll my eyes just as the door bell rings again and when I answer it this time it's actually the pizza man. I hand him the twenty and take inside with me the large box of pizza.

"The pizzas here!" I call out to my brother.
"I'm coming!" He shouts back, probably from the bathroom or his bedroom.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" I turn around and ask Carsen.

"I'd love too."

"Something smells good." Vance comes into the room while slipping a shirt over his head. He stops the second his eyes land on Carsen. "You good?" He looks at me.

"We're good." I reassure him and to prove it, I entwine my fingers with Carsen. "I invited him to stay for dinner if that's okay."

"That's fine." My brother walks ahead into the room and makes a beeline for the kitchen to start getting out plates for us.

"I think my brother needs some help, don't you?" I say to Carsen before I go to my room to get my phone.

I find it on my bed where I left it before I heard the doorbell ring.

I grab it and make my way back to the kitchen but stop once I hear Vance and Carsen talking.

"My sister really likes you bro. You can't treat her like she's just one of your girls." Vance warns him.

"She's not just some girl. She's special." Carsen tells him.

"I know she is. So let me just make one thing clear— you hurt her and I don't care how famous you are and how much money you have— I'll make you pay." Vance warns Carsen.

It was nice to know that someone cares about me.

Not everyone in my family does...