Tempting The Billionaire Book1✔(Slowly Revising)

chapter 47

Been suffering from writers block *sobs*

This chapter is not edited. There will be many mistakes. Some things may even not add up

Britondii Luca pov

I laid curled up in a ball on the hospital bed,my eyes had been closed and I shook my head harshly like a crazed woman attempting to quell the maddening thoughts that manifested themselves in my head,since the passing of Sapphire,my precious gem. But still the thoughts would not be tamed. How could they? When my daughter was dead and it had been nobody's fault but mine. After all it had been my umbilical cord that wrapped around her neck , that resulted in killing her. It had been my fault only,no wonder her father hated me.

Before long the expected tears began to trickle down my face and much like it had since that fateful afternoon merely days before my head began to pound, so harshly it felt as if I was been beaten in the head with an iron baton.

"Baby please stop crying, it was out of your hands. If it was up to you sapphire would have been here alive and well like her sister." I heard my best friend's voice near my face, soft and caring as he kissed my forehead. I wasn't surprised he knew those were my thoughts as I had told him so many times that I blamed my self. I felt the soft bed sink as he sat down next to me.

"Its not your fault baby." He repeated, summarizing all that he had just said,as he used his fingers to massage my scalp.

I clutched the small golden chest, where the ashes of my daughter rested,tighter to my chest, angrily. Was it ungrateful to be angry at my friend who had been at my side everyday,being a true friend? Maybe so but still I had been. How dare he try to convince me, baby Sapphire's death was not my fault. Then whose was it? Hers? His? John's? Sebastian's? Even Sebastian held me responsible for his child's death, he hadn't said so yet but I knew it. I saw the accusations in his eyes, each time his met mine.

Hell, I couldn't even bring myself to hold Sebriina for longer than necessary in fear that unconsciously,I might harm her,like I had harmed Sapphire.

"Oh Lue" I sobbed softly, my heart breaking,crumbling, "I killed my baby. What will I tell Sebriina when she gets older Lue?"

"Baby" my friend kissed my hair and though my eyes remained unopened I could tell he was on the brink of tears as his voice both shook and cracked. "Don't think about that now baby. When that day comes your daughter will know you did not cause her sister's death. She will know it wasn't your fault Brii"

"If it wasn't my fault why does it just so fucking much Lue? Why do I feel like a murderer? Why does Sebastian look at me as such? Like a monster? Why can't I hold my baby without fearing that I am going to hurt her? Why me Lue? What have I done so terribly that God has unleashed such wrath on my innocent child Lue? I sobbed softly, shivering badly, almost as if I were vibrating as Lue wordlessly wrapped his arms protectively around my trembling shoulders in a comforting embrace and allowed his warm tears to spill into my hair.

When I opened my eyes later that day my eyes instantly landed on the crib and I saw my baby sleeping peacefully on it. Sebastian had returned with her. Instead of Lucas,my child's father now occupied the couch on the right of my bed.

In his hands was the container with his child's ashes which I had fallen asleep hours before clutching tightly. My heart stopped for a while at the at the sorrow and rage in his stiff movements as he looked down on the chest.

"I'm sorry Sebastian" I choked out feeling the burn of the water that had started to gather in my eyes,reaching my arm out for him to take my hand but he remained silent and his eyes, downwards.

"Its ok miss Luca"he said finally,his voice low but I did not kiss the rage in his accusing tone.

"I am so sorry Sebastian " I repeated my voice louder this time. I needed him to understand, I wanted him to blame me it was my fault his child was dead and I took full responsibility.

"Shut up. Just shut the hell up miss Luca. I do not wish to hear your bloody voice." He said harshly, still not looking up from the object in his hands."why the fuck are you sorry? Will that bring my damn child back?"

"Sebastian" I sobbed and ran my fingers through my dishellved hair,sinking my nails painfully deep into my scalp. "I am sorry"

"I'm sorry too" he hissed through clenched teeth, "I'm sorry I ever met you, you damned woman."

Sighs. 😭😭😭 I am sobbing

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