exhale.

Broken

I've been told several times since I was 13, that if you don't know how to write something, stick to a general format.

Point. Explanation. Example.

It's never failed me yet, so I hope it doesn't fail me now.

Point: I am broken.

Explanation: Every time I think I've hit rock bottom, it turns out that it's just the calm before yet another violent storm. There's only so many times you can hit down that hard and come out unscathed...and I passed that limit a while ago. I'm battered, bruised and broken at the bottom of what I thought was a cliff, only to find out that I'm only on a ledge, and looking over the side, the bottom is so far down that it's like staring into an endless black abyss. I don't know how far away the bottom is but I'm trying my hardest to hang onto every ledge and try and climb back up to the top. I keep slipping. I keep leaving pieces of myself behind. It hurts because everything hurts and is harder when you're broken. But I will get to the top. Someday.

Was that really an explanation? Maybe. It doesn't quite answer all the questions but I think it answers a fair few, in a roundabout sort of way.

Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe I don't want to answer those questions. Maybe I will someday; but that day won't be today.

Example: Can I think of one solid, identifiable example? One clear cut example, that doesn't bleed into anything else? I'm not sure. Maybe that time...no. Or....no. There's nothing that stands by itself without being connected to something else; it's one continuous cliff, one continuous fall. Again, I pray I never find out just how far I can fall.

I'm clinging onto this little ridge I've struggled to get to; hanging on for dear life. I don't want a helping hand to pull me up, in case they fall further than I have, and because I feel like this is something I need to figure out how to do on my own, so that if I ever slip again, I know how to get back up, back out and step away.

New Point: I am broken, but I will fix myself.