exhale.

Carpe Diem

"An exceptional future can only be built on the transformation of the mess I've made out of my past, not the elimination of that mess."

― Craig D. Lounsbrough

It's that time of the year again, where instead of people making empty promises to each other, they make them to themselves and title them 'New Year's Resolutions'.

All the things they promise to do...only to forget about them before even January has expired.

So, in order to hold onto my resolutions until at least March, I've decided to chronicle them here. Where anyone can see them, and harass me about them when I forget.

The first and most important: I resolve to be better to myself, mentally and physically.

Physically should be the easier of the two. Do more than just dance for exercise. Don't ignore my injuries, and allow them to get worse. Eat better...actually eat.

But, as always, easier said than done.

Exercise isn't always easy when you're always busy and the minute you're not doing something...you take the chance to sleep. I can work around that.

Treating injuries takes time that I usually can't afford to lose; but I can work around that, because I'll be better in the long run.

Eat better. Ha. I say I will. I probably won't. It's too closely tied to the second half of this resolution.

Be better to myself mentally.

That's a tough one. Although I suppose recognizing that there's a problem to be fixed is half the battle.

It just may be the easier half.

Being better to myself is mainly seeing myself in a more positive light, because right now I really only see the worst. It's always been easier for me to see my flaws than anything else.

And I'll leave it at that. Those are tears for another day.

Another resolution.

I want to write more. Not necessarily post more, mind you. But I just want to set aside some time in the week, or maybe even in the day where I just stop, think, and write down everything.

I used to keep a journal. Wrote in it religiously from November of 2015, all the way to the end of summer 2016.

Maybe I'll start again in this coming year.

So in keeping with my new policy to write more, maybe I will update more often, but if I can't think of anything, I'm not going to force myself to write anyway but then I'll be highly unsatisfied with the result.

I could have paired this chapter with a really meaningful or emotional song about new beginning or being a better person...but I didn't. Instead, I've chosen a song from Les Misérables (one of two musicals about revolutions that I love, the other being Hamilton).

I think, the attitude adopted by some in the midst of a revolution, to live each day to the fullest because any could be your last, is a pretty good resolution to carry into the new year.

No more wasted days. No more missed opportunities. Carpe diem.

And with that,

Happy New Year. Here's to hoping it will be better than the last.

One more dawn. One more day. One day more.