Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop — a lot of fish got battered.
(Just a bit of British humour I found funny!)
Chapter Eighteen
Post 271
So last night, 90's Brit-pop band 'Blur' decided that they were going to have a four minute long acceptance speech for an award at the Brit awards. When accepting an award, your mean to take the award, mutter the words 'thank you,' and piss off back to where you came from, but Blur decided to rabble on and on, turning their acceptance speech into a bloody history lesson on their band! Due to their rudeness, Adele's acceptance speech for British album of the year had to be cut short.
Now at the Grammies, she announced to the world that she had a snotty nose, at the Brits however, she stuck the middle finger up at the producers, live on television! This is an example of what the British male does the average British woman — drives her to swear on TV because some ass whole who can't even sing wanted to do a five minute speech!
Run as fast as you can from all British males.
"Just breathe, Nora, you'll be alright... walking into a room with 300 people, all looking at you... just you," Nora said to herself, failing to calm her nerves while staring at herself in the mirror, her reflection staring her back. She had about two minutes until she would be forced into a room full of 300 people.
300 people
300 set of eyes
600 eyes. All staring directly at Nora, waiting for her to mess up.
"Fuck this," she swore, turning away from the mirror and walking over to a window, trying to see how far she would have to jump. She was in a guest bedroom, all by herself. She had seen make-up artists, hairdressers and people to help her get dressed all day and this was the first time in hours she had any time to herself. She had never been made to wear so much make up in her life in her life, she felt like a human barbie doll, as if everybody thought they could cover up her insecurities with a layer or two of make-up. She looked down into the darkness, trying to work out how far she would have to jump, doing the calculations over and over in her head.
"And where do you think you're going?" a voice questioned from behind her, the person clearly finding the fact that Nora was thinking about jumping out the window to escape pretty funny.
"Hogwarts?" Nora replied off the top of her head, before turning round to come face to face with the king, "Or the land of fairies, whichever I come to first,"
"I like you, you're funny," the king remarked, "And for some reason, I don't think you're going to jump out of the window,"
"Why would you think that? I'm famous for my ability to surprise people,"
"Because you love my son too much to abandon him here," the king replied quickly, his blue eyes not leaving Nora for a second.
"I don't lov-" Nora replied instantly, her heart rate pounding in her chest, before being cut off by the king.
"-Keep telling yourself that Nora, maybe you'll believe it but it won't mean that it's true!" the king counted, smirking a little. He had seen how Milo looked at Nora and vise versa, they looked at each other as if they had been married for fifty years, rather than just being in a relationship with each other for a week and a half.
ČTEŠ
British Guys Aren't Cute
Romance'Fact: British guys are not cute. Never have been; never will be!' Meet Nora. During the day, she's a crazed, Irish student trying to survive the insanity which is London. At night, she's a blogger, trying to prove to the world that British guys ar...
