Shimmer |✓|

//Sacrifice// Part 5

Cotillion was everything I never dreamed of.  

Handsome, white-teeth suitors, coordinated dancing, beautiful white gowns twirling beneath silver chandeliers... All the girls were excited-except me. Ten minutes to show time and while everyone else was preparing to assemble in the ballroom, I was in the hallway outside the restrooms, having a mini-panic attack.

I bent at the waist, trying to breathe through a cocoon of silk and tulle. The circlets around my wrist were shackles, the diamonds at my neck, a noose.

Ethan was the reaper.

"You look like Princess Swan."

Lucas. That window, with the light spilling through-it had just opened a little bit wider.  Luke was all suited up for the evening, fresh from the shower with his beard trimmed and his dark hair pulled back in a man-bun. Tonight his eyes held an usual shine, as though he'd spied some heavenly aurora and now walked with its light in his soul. Between his hands were a large bouquet of long-stemmed roses, the kind they gave to beauty queens.

I laughed, following up with a sad-face frown. "You're just saying that cuz of the tiara. And this... obnoxious dress." I spread my hands helplessly at the puffy fabric. While the other girls had fawned over the endless material, the whole thing made me feel like a giant marshmallow that had been barfed up by the Michelin Man. 

"I'm saying it because you look nice." Luke cleared his throat. "These are for you."

I smiled and took the flowers, careful to avoid the thorns as I sank my nose in the petals. They still smelled like the garden they were pulled from-fresh and wild. And alive.

"You look like her, y'know."

I un-glued myself from the flowers, wide-eyed. "What?" 

"Your mom. She was... stunning, like you. Sorry. I know you don't like to hear about Paris--"

"No! I mean, you can talk about her. I'm interested." I'm ready.

It was more clear than ever that Marie had run my mother out of town. Now I understood why Paris had stayed away all these years--she was trying to protect me, to shield me from Marie's all-seeing gaze. For as long as I could remember, I had resented Paris for her sacrifice-and my family let me. They thought it was easier to let me grow up hating her, believing she was the bad guy who had abandoned her family and her pack-because the real bad guy was much worse. 

Because my mother would never hurt me in the ways Catherine would.

Lucas smiled, mystified by what he saw. "Something happen to you? You look..." He reached out, tapping one of several curls that had rebelliously slipped loose. "Different."

"Yeah? I feel different." I gripped my arms, goosebumps growing beneath my fingertips. "I found something--or maybe it found me, I'm not really sure which. But it doesn't matter, because it makes me feel, I dunno, like I can do anything--like nothing's impossible. It's... inspiring, I guess." And scary as hell. The true feeling-I didn't know how to explain it. But I could sum it up in one word.

Tidus. 

I hadn't spoken his name in a solid week, for fear I'd slip up and really mean it when I did. All this time he had stayed away, visiting only in my dreams. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me, but his silence betrayed him. 

"Now you sound like her too." Lucas cupped my cheek in his hand. "Your dad would be proud of you, kid. So am I. What you're doing tonight--it's about more than just dancing with the Alpha, or looking good for your grandparents. It's about being a light for those who are in the dark. Tonight, you're giving the pack something to believe in too. This isn't one of those impossible things, you got this."