the journal - h.s.

57

[amber’s pov]

“Yeah - I’m quite unusual right?” I chuckled at my own miserable try at being funny, though my entire inside was tingling. As Harry grinned widely while nodding in agreement, I continued; “So what’s your unusual dream? What would you like to do of unusual things before you die Mr. Styles?”

I watched as Harry inhaled deeply and put his face in a thoughtful way, as he let his eyes sweep over the room, while thinking. I still watched him though. Fascinated by his tanned flawless skin, the jaw, the jade green eyes…

“I think I don’t really have any dreams. Why would I?” His eyes were fastened on me. Piercing and beautiful. They seemed to contain every shade of green a painter could possibly imagine to ever create. “I would probably just end up disappointed anyway you know? It’s much easier expecting nothing - and then getting happily surprised if something eventually does happen, which could be worth dreaming off you know?”

I wasn’t sure my heart could contain handling more reactions for this boy in front of me. In some way it made sense, it was logically correct, but on another level it was just plain terrible and heartbreaking. It was well argued - but lacked completely the element of well emotion. And I was starting to get an idea, that this was how Harry’s life worked. Well structured - it made sense from the outside, he had made it make sense. But still he didn’t allow himself things like daydreaming, believing, missing - grieving maybe even? For the shortest amount of time my mind thought about Harry’s mum and Mrs. Meredith. Had he ever had a real chance to process what had happened to these two people he had loved - and still loved?

“Hey Amber!” I could hear my co-worker yell from behind the counter, where she was putting on her jacket - while my other co-worker was blowing out the candles on the tables. The coffee machine was making an awfully lot of noise, since it was cleaning itself. So I was pretty sure none of them had heard Harry’s lowered voice about his well argued reason for the non existing dreams in life.

It was like being dragged back to reality awfully fast - almost like what I believed time travel or teleportation would feel like. I snapped out of the moment, which had only consisted of Harry and me. Suddenly the world once again consisted of 7 billion others.

“Sorry love - but we’re closing up! I mean if you guys wanna stay for a little longer you can get the key and you could probably give it to Aria? But if not - yeah well then we’re about to close for today.” I watched her, as she sent me a grin and threw the scarf around her neck, while hitching up in the bag.

"Thanks!" I looked back at Harry and frankly stated; “honestly I’m kind of hungry.”

A chuckle escaped his lips, “yeah. Yeah me too. I actually know a place nearby, which is...” he held a thoughtful break, which had a dramatic edge to it, “probably the best place in town for late night snacks.” The wide grin that spread on his lips, was enough to have me agree on the following heartbeat.

 

Harry got up first since he was kind of blocking my way out. I moved over on the couch picking up the boots from the floor along with me - and while Harry blew out our candle and slowly started putting on his own jacket, I quickly tied the shoes.

The light in the coffee shop was turned off and suddenly the place was terribly dark - only the light from outside made it possible to see the dark silhouettes in here.

With help from Harry I found all my belongs - getting them inside my shoulder bag. While my two co-workers were doing some last minute things, before crossing the room heading for the door. They were chattering happily - probably excited to get home in bed. While Harry and me for a moment just enjoyed the silence between us. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence - just the kind where you enjoyed the moment.