the journal - h.s.

91

“I’m here,” Jenny sang with a joyful voice as I picked up the letter and hurried down the stairs eager to get down to her. Honestly I just wanted to leave it behind and hurry into my safe bubble again; but reality couldn't be ignored when it was hammering on your door.

I pushed the front door open, while Jenny babbled on about Louis and Harry’s awful cooking skills and how we probably had to bring some pizzas and a fire extinguisher just incase. The cold wind drifted in over me and the utter darkness outside caught me by surprise; there were so many places to hide, I realized. So many corners in the shadows where someone could be standing and watching.

Jenny waved to me from the driver’s seat of Perrie’s little chili red Beetle whose engine was still running. The headlights shone out through the cold air and some tiny flickers of glitter were caught in the lights making me realize the tiniest snowflakes were falling from the cold sky. I hitched up in the bags and with my heart still pumping with fear, I rushed to get into the car. I could hear music playing in there even before I pulled the door open; as I did so the blast from the radio hit me like a wall of music and it managed to blow off any form for anxiety I’d just had a second ago, as the up beat Whitney Houston song echoed through the street. And yet not deepest down which left me with conflicting emotions.

“I wanna dance with somebody!” Jenny sang along as I threw my bags in the back seat and got in. I almost frantically pulled the door shut behind me. She laughed loudly, “80s hit mix. The guys will seriously never let me play it.”

She turned it down a notch so we could hear ourselves think while she send me a wide beam, “hey you!” Her hair was gathered in a high loose ponytail and it almost looked like she was glowing from happiness.

She leaned over and pulled me into a much needed hug, “how are you?”

Her eyes flickered over me as she had released me again and the Whitney Houston song played softly in the background. I tried to nod and smile, but couldn’t really handle it any longer, “not the best day to be honest.”

It must have been so evident because she shut off the radio completely and turned in her seat fully. A frown had found its way into her usually joyful features and she grabbed my hand, “hey - hey it’s going to be alright, love.” Her voice was soft and comforting, but I kept my gaze on the street outside not able to meet her caring eyes.

“You’re going to be fine - trust me if there’s anything I’m sure off; it’s that Harry would rip the head off the person who would ever try to -” I interrupted her gently; “that’s the thing, Jenny. I don’t want him to put himself into that position. He deserves to just be happy for Christ’s sake! Live his life, play with Little Nothings, see his friends - but instead he constantly has to watch his every fucking move and check up on me just because he’s worried as shit.”

“Listen - Amber. Harry is going to figure this out and you need to think of something else in the meantime. Okay? That’s how you can help him - by being the one who doesn’t freak out about this. It’ll pass quickly - I mean how crazy can that Peter guy be afterall?” I wasn’t sure how much Harry had told her about the situation so I just nodded and looked up at her only to see the absolute confidence over her words.

“Are you doing anything this weekend? Maybe we can make it into a long weekend with Perrie - no boyfriends for a few days - just us girls. We can probably be at Perrie’s from… Thursday?” She stated casually as she turned on the radio again; the Whitney Houston song had ended and a Wham! one was playing this time. She turned around and stepped on the speeder so the car started flying down the street with such force that I was thrown back into the seat, meanwhile I remembered how Peter had spoken of ‘Harry’s ticket for Thursday’.