12 - It wasn't supposed to be like this

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Chapters with ;  in the title after the number, are unedited.


My eyes shot open wildly, unaware of where I was for a second. Then, I felt the familiar scratch of the paper-like leaves against my skin and I shivered, even though it's summer, nights can get incredibly cold. I didn't remember much from last night besides shooting up and feeling so indescribably happy. My eyes searched for Ponyboy, whilst trying to get used to the light. When I saw him, I felt so guilty while he slept peacefully on the ground. He had his mouth slightly parted and was thankfully breathing evenly, letting out a couple of soft snores now and then. I sighed heavily, rubbing away the sleep from my eyes and went to check my watch, seeing it was almost 9 am.

"Pony, wake up, come on, we gotta get home-" I was cut off by his annoyed groan, his hand flew up to his face to rub his temple, clenching his eyes tight like he could massage away the pain if he could. I glanced at the needles on my left and set them back into the case carefully. As I tried to mobilize myself, It was extremely hard to sit up, almost as if my body weighed a million pounds, but I struggled to do it anyway. Pony couldn't quite get up either, but he didn't even want to try, then his eyes widened in realization as he fully woke.

"Oh my god- What's Darry gonna say about this?! He always told me to stay away from the drugs, and now look where I am!" I flinched, he was bailing on me, wasn't he? I mean, good on him of course, this was bad in all types of ways . . . I just needed to know that I wasn't alone in all of this. 

"Hey! Hey!" I cupped his face in my hands quickly, stopping the attack in its tracks."Now, did you like it?" I asked, and he nodded slowly, hesitant like he was afraid of admitting it out loud.

"I really did," He said softly, 

"Then that's it, okay? We'll do it again soon, this is just our fun, okay? They have theirs, and we have ours, we're okay aren't we?" I asked him, and he gave a heavy sigh.

"Yeah . . . yeah, we're okay."

"They gave us a fucking heaping supply, alright? It doesn't have to be bad, we have it under control, okay? We'll be doing it more often if you'd like, but I need to know that I can trust you, alright?" He nodded and I tried to stand but I stumbled a bit, putting my full weight on the gate surrounding the area. Ponyboy then tried to get up, but it only resulted in a groan. I felt dizzy, and I'm sure he did too.

"C'mon," He muttered and pulled himself up. I smiled at him softly and he returned it, he looked sickly pale and dirty, like he had some type of disease. It was honestly worrying but I don't think I looked any better than he did.

We walked out of the lot and saw that the streets were practically dead, not a lot of cars were passing by, and we walked back home. The case was fitted into my hand like a limb, and I clutched it tightly. Ponyboy held onto the back of my shirt the whole time to keep from falling and I almost laughed, but I was beyond worried because I know what Darry's gonna say about this.

Maybe we won't tell him.

Just Pony and I's secret.

We stepped onto the porch and heard yelling from inside, and the both of us looked at each other and sighed dramatically. We were both scared to walk in I could physically feel Ponyboy's anxiety radiating off of him but nonetheless, I twisted the knob and made our way inside, slamming it shut to get the attention of the others. Everyone was here, either on the phone or talking, looking frantically through newspapers and phone books, obvious that they were trying to find someone. Everything was silent for at least fifteen seconds and I swear it felt like the longest fifteen seconds of my life, eyes wide and judgemental, I was about to break the silence before Darry ran down the steps, angrily.

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