Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy

30; Opportunities are missed

    My legs had become sore from pacing so much, I went around the room 234 times, I had counted them. Ponyboy had gotten Sodapop to get every single book in the house and put it in his room and there he sat on the bed, reading his life away, but he would occasionally put the book down and just stare out the window. I had wondered if we could maybe make an escape. It would be completely successful if we got through but, we had an agreement and I guess, just this once, I’ll keep my promise. My lungs felt trapped and they burned, I felt as if I moved again, I’d heave them out onto the floor, But I ignored the ache in my chest and kept walking.

   Ponyboy looked at me longingly but I kept walking around, trying desperately not to call him out. The pacing was comforting me, even though it hurt slightly, it was something to do, and it calmed my nerves. When I was laying down, my stomach felt as if It were on fire, and when I was pacing it was dulled slightly, like the after burn of smoke inhalation, at least, that was the easiest way I could explain it.

“If you were any thinner, you wouldn’t exist.” I stopped suddenly, and I turned with an amused smirk. That was one way of saying it,

“Speak for yourself, you look like a damn ghost under those blankets.”

“Oh a ghost? Best comeback ever.” He snorted and I furrowed my brows.

“This is a competition aye?” I cocked an eyebrow, a trick I learned from Mickey Mouse and laughed.

“It is now,”

“You look like a damn zombie.” I told him and he shot his hand to his heart in fake hurtful glare.

“You look likes a skeleton that’s compensated for something.” I gasped loudly, and he giggled loudly.

“Well-Well. . .” I stuttered but I couldn’t get anything out because Ponyboy kept laughing his head off, “You look like a delirious dog left out on the street.” He bellowed in laughter then, clutching his stomach and basically crying out in gasps and ragged breaths. I tried to keep from laughing but it was so contagious that I started to laugh myself and then he snorting like a pig, that’s when we both stopped, and looked at each other in shock, then burst out laughing once again.

“Jesus, what’s so funny that’s got you two crying?” We stopped and cleared our throats at the hearing of a voice, I looked up and saw the infamous Dallas Winston in the doorway, smiling at the two of us, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. He had on a tight brown leather jacket that hugged his shoulders and was flowed out in the rest. He wore loose fitting jeans with big brown burly boots, my thought train stopped and I let out a snicker. I just repeated words that had started with b four times. I don’t know why I found that funny, but it just was.

Ponyboy looked at me with wide eyes and a wide smile as well. We started to slowly cease our smiles and look at Dally. His brows were furrowed in confusion as he came into the room. He shut the door quietly and moved the books off the rocking chair in the corner. He sat down and took a drag from his cancer stick and shifted his legs. I looked at him waiting, for something, anything to be said. He wouldn’t talk though, his eyes were scanning the room with uncertainty and I was following what he was trying to find, moving my eyes to where he looked, it was like he was silently judging the room, taking every bit of it and pondering whether or not he should say something. Finally, he looked to Ponyboy,

“You look beat, kid. They keepin’ you both in here like some. . . slaves.” He said, and Ponyboy sighed quietly, and nodded.

"Its. . . not that bad." He whispered quietly, looking at me and smirked. I smiled back and looked to the ground once more.

   I put my arms around my waist tightly, the fire in my stomach was starting up again so I stood up, and I walked again. I didn’t look at Dally, fearing his reaction. But I walked, more like paced, back and forth in the room, staring at the ground and breathing heavily, because now the walking wasn’t working, it still hurt like hell, more than before, like it was slowly easing its way through my veins, into my head, into my legs and into my arms.

I fell to the ground in agony, I tried to take deep breaths, since that had always helped before but now every time I breathed in, it was like my lungs were ripping themselves apart, bit by bit. My head was spinning, but I willed myself to stand,

‘Come on Johnny, stand up, you’re okay, you’re okay.’

   But I couldn’t, my legs felt jello like, and I staggered in my place. I heard things around me but they were muffled. I swear, something is wrong with me, I always go deaf in times like this.

‘Johnny, let’s go, you’re gonna scare them, get up.’

   With the help of Dally, I stood up, but only to fall apart once again, but instead of falling once more, I had his arms holding me up. My eyes were shut tight, and the only reason why I knew it was Dally that was helping, was because the roughness of his hands, the stench of sex and he smelt of the most cheapest cologne men could possess. That was Dally for you. A second set of arms picked me up and set me on the bed, But I shot up once more, the pain was excruciating when I lied down, it made it worse.

    I settled myself on my knees on the ground, and pressed my face against the cold floor, clutching my stomach, rocking slightly. As I stayed in this position, I felt Ponyboy’s soft touch on my back, and he rubbed. I sighed in content, his touch was soothing me, and my stomach was slowly dulling a little. There was a small ring in my ears as I sat and my hearing came back to normal, and I slowly but surely let my eyes open. I blinked rapidly, my breathing going normal once again.

“Johnny? Johnny, are you alright? Johnnycake, make a noise if you can hear me.” Ponyboy was whispering in my ear, sending chills throughout my body. I grunted in response at his words,

“He’s okay, Dally, He’s alright.” Ponyboy was reassuring Him, and I felt a small twinge of guilt but it was erased quickly, reminding myself that he cared for me, and I have no reason for guilt.

“Can you move, Johnny? Anything at all?” Dally was frightened, I could hear it in his voice, the tone, the shakiness.

“No.” I whispered weakly, I was completely terrified of moving, I believe that if I move, the agonizing pain would ripple through my body again, so Internally I decided, to stay right where I was.

  Overtime, Dally needed to leave to finish his shift at Buck’s. Yeah, he’s got a job, not a good one from what I hear, but I wouldn’t expect bartending to be quite the career but for Dally, he says it pays money, and that’s about all he cares about.

  For the next few hours, Ponyboy lied next to me and rubbed my back, comforting me silently. They brought in soup and bread for us a little later, and Ponyboy tried to feed me spoonfuls but I only got a couple in before I passed out cold from exhaustion.