Holding on to whats' worth

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

“Wwwhat are you.. what.. how even”

He chuckled, “We haven’t seen each other for so long, but you still get speechless around me eh Rob?”

He shook his head laughing, with his eyes shut and his blond hair swaying slightly.

I shut my gaping mouth, still shocked from the revalation. My mind drew a blank I couldn’t put through how or why he was here.

He finally took a breath and gestured for me to take a seat on the vacant swing. After a sigh, Duke sipped a little of the grape soda he had at hand, and looked at me. “How have you been Rob?”

Pushing my feet agaisnt the ground to swing forward, I tried to buy myself some time to gather the courage and process everything. I was so confused, but I guess the fact that I had never changed my mobile number since I got it answers the ‘How’ question.

“I’ve been alright. Swinging by the winds and tides of life.”

Duke chuckled at the pun and looked to his feet.

“I was a real jerk back then to you Rob. I was all rounded jerk.”

I was genuinely surprised that he was so blatant about the past. I was still held agaisnt the walls I made, but Duke was having none of that. He got straight to the point and I knew it was because he had been thinking about it for a while now.

“Duke c’mon what’s this about? That was 3 years ago. Why are you bringing it up now?”

A frustrated grunt emerged from his throat. Duke took of his cap and ruffled his hair. He got up from the swing and started pacing around.

“After we broke up, my family set flight to L.A. Literally on the same day. My parents told me we were leaving early two nights before I broke up with you. I had very little time to think and I was being rash. I broke up with you then because I thought we were still young, and trying out a distance relationship wasn’t practical or logical. We were just 14 Rob, we weren’t in love. We were two kids who fell for each other.”

I don’t know where he’s going with this but my heart began to ache. Although it was the truth that were young and that I was way over this, it still hurt to open up the chapter I so greatly begged to be shut off tight. I looked to the ground, begging myself to not let this “stranger” see me cry.

“Getting over you was hard but not impossible. I told myself I was over you and had a few dates. But somehow, after the break up I had with a girl I dated for over a year there, it was you I missed.”

“Oh, so you didn’t break up with her on your first anniversary then?”

Duke sighed and sat back down the swing putting his cap back on backwards. He put his face to his hands and took a deep breath. Slowly, his grey eyes met mine.

“I kept thinking about you for a year. I tried looking for your social sites, but you privatised them. I gathered my courage to call your cell months ago and found out you were still using it. I knew I had to meet you. For closure maybe? I keep thinking about you Rob.”

I stared at his soft face. I wasn’t expecting this! Thank God I was seated, my legs have liquified. There were so many thoughts running through my mind with a mix of emotions. I couldn’t fathom them out, and I didn’t want to right now.

“What do you want Duke? It’s been 3 years I just… what do you want?”

“To make things right.”

I called in sick for school on Monday because I just couldn’t deal with anything school related the following morning.

Duke and I parted ways, exchanging heartfelt words of both pain and forgiveness. Refusing to leave the scars he left behind hidden, Duke wanted to make up for what he did. Little did he know that by coming back, he just opened the scars up.

I’m not saying it never bothered me before, but that was close to 3 years ago. Any sane person who knows they deserve happiness, would have forgiven and let it go by then. I had almost completely forgotten that it even happened, because a lot more important things have came and gone throughout these 3 years. I never understood why anyone would want to reopen a dark chapter of their lives again. No matter how unclear things were left, I rather the past stay the past. I don’t need a Part Two of a miserable moment in my life.

I was hesistant in meeting Duke again, but he so desperately wanted “proper closure” I caved in. Yes, we are meeting again and soon too. I was so strong-headed that I was okay with whatever that has happened, I almost immediately agreed that we could be friends. Afterall, I have “moved on kiddo.”

Leslie was shocked beyong words when she found out who it was. Of course I revealed it to her when Aiden wasn’t around. I was careful to not let this story possibly get to Justin. But, even wheeling her out of the way for the revelation wasn’t strong enough a precaution. Leslie’s exclaimation could be heard a mile out.  It didn’t help that she was smitten by her beau, in other words, Aiden soon found out.

Despite the fall out I’m having with Justin, I can’t help but be bothered that he was the first person  thought of when I saw Duke. I was rooted to the ground shocked when I saw him, but the only thing my mind registered was that I needed Justin to be here. It was like he was the security blanket I had to guard myself agaisnt my dark past.

It gets harder every moment to not think about him. Duke’s appearance was like a venom, it kept me wondering about Justin. I needed to keep my mind off things for awhile.

So, I got up and went for a long run around my neighbourhood.

When I got back, Leslie and Lana were waiting in my bedroom with cut fruit, courtesy of Mrs Green. Lana and Flynn have been great, and it was about time we three catch up.

“Flynn did tell me something interesting about Justin, Rob.” Lana slowly revealed.

Poking into a watermelon cube as an alternative channel to release my anxiety and to act totally cool about it, I asked what about.

“Well, I don’t really know the specifics, but Flynn said he keeps catching Justin staring at a distance after your name was brought up in a conversation. He then asked Flynn how you were, and gave a small smile when Flynn said you were just the same.”

My heart sank. He does think about me too. Honestly, I wish this will all end soon. I wish one of us will drop the ego soon enough and apologise first.

I wish I knew back then that that was all I needed to do to be happier.

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Sorry it took so long, i had so many breakdowns in my life sigh. Will write and update soon!