dirty little secret

I'm done!

Jack woke up and stretched and got on new clothes for the day he checked his phone and it was noon he couldn't believe he slept that late! then he remember last night and he felt his face get red and he stuck his phone in his pocket and walked out and didn't see Mark anywhere and thought he must still be asleep and he went and made a pot of coffee and made him some eggs and bacon he made some for Mark as well and sat down with his plate and cup and ate his food and was on his phone scrolling through twitter replying back to comments and liking them then when Mark walked in with his bag and Jack looked up and said "are you leaving?" Mark shook his head and said "uh yah I am." Jack felt a pain in his chest and said "o ok what time does your plan leave?" Mark grabbed his bag tighter and said "in two hours." Jack shook his head and said "I made you some breakfast if you are hungry." Mark sat his bag down and said "great I am starving and he went and sat down next to Jack and grabbed his plate and ate it nither one of them said a word they could feel the awkwardness between them, Jack was heartbroken Mark was leaving he loved Mark being around and hanging out and Jack was starting to achelly love Mark he always knew how to make him happy and cheer him up but he knew that it wasnt ever going to happen Mark still loved his ex and they might get back together. Jack shook off the feeling and said "im going to go record a video for the day." Mark shook his head and said "ok." Jack got up and went into the recording room and started up the exuipment he tried to cover up the bite marks but it didnt work really and eventully he gave up which dosent matter he could say some girl did it but when he looked into the camera and saw the reflection he saw the marks and started to cry a little but he whipped them away and kept on with the video he can just edit it out later so he put up a happy front and finished the recording. when it was over he couldent help but let out a few more tears he hated Mark was leaving and hated himself for feeling the way he did he was so confused and hurt and just upset he wants to be with Mark but dosent want to lose him as a friend then Jack started to cry more and sit on the wall his back against the door and just let it out the walls were padded so he was ok he though why cant i be stright why am i like this Mark is my best friend and a guy he is a guy! why does he have to leave and get back with his ex why cant he like me back did last night really mean nothing to him? Jack stopped crying and cleaned his face up and calmed down he didnt hate Mark at all he loved him alot he just hated himself.

Jack stood up and walked out the room and Mark saw him and said "sad game?" Jack smiled and said "yah it was a sad game." Mark nodded and said "maybe i should get going dont wanna miss my flight." Jack nodded and held back the tears again and said "ill walk with you." Mark smiled and said "that sounds great." they walked out the door and down the side walk and not really saying much at all Mark thanked him for letting him stay and being there for him and Jack thanked him for the food and takin care of him he wanted to bring up last night but didnt want to make Mark uncomfterble or upset him so he didnt, when they got to the airport they said there good byes and it took everything in Jack to not beg him to stay an kiss him bye becuase he really wanted to but he didnt. on the way back home Jack was so sad and depressed he missed Mark already and wanted him back but he knew that wasnt going to happen this isnt some sappy movie when the man runs back to the girl and anounces his love and stays with her and they kiss and live happily ever after Jack went back home and cleaned up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured him a shot and started drinking and then started crying nothing would help not alchol or TV or music he decided to just record another video for later and maybe go back to sleep he just wanted the day to be over soon so Jack found a sad game so he can cry and recorded it for a few hours and then finished and took a few more shots and went in his room when he sat down he heard his phone go PING and it was a text from Felix and it said "hey man saw the marks in your video who is the lucky girl." Jack groaned and said "no girl." he saw Felix writting back and when it popped on the screen it read "guy?" Jack tilted his head back and felt a few tears roll down he didnt understand why he was so heartbroken they had sex once and he only started really likeing Mark a few days ago unless he always liked him and didnt notice it until now Jack tilted his head back up and decided to tell Felix everything he could trust him he knew Felix wouldent judge him at all so he spilled it all out and when he did he ended up crying again and he sat his phone down and whipped the tears away and waited on Felix to reply back and when he did it said "how do you know he dosent like you Jack i seen how you two get together and how he looks at you its the same way i look at marzia have you tried telling him how you felt?" Jack replied back "he said we was just in the moment and i dont wanna lose him Felix." Felix was typing and said "thats a lie and you know it there is no doudt you are perfect for each other. and just tell him Jack." Jack replied back "that may be so but he is going back with his ex its to late Felix." Felix was typing and sent "im sorry Jack ill always be here for you though." Jack said "i know thanks haha." and Jack sat his phone down and decided to lay down and take a nap he was exsasted from crying so he laid down and go to sleep.

Jack got woken up by his phone going off so he picked up his phone and saw Mark was calling and hes heart started pounding again and he answerd it and said "hello?" Mark cleared his throat and said "hey Jack how are you?" Jack said in a grogy voice "im fine just took a nap how are you?" Mark said "im good i just got back home and im with my girlfriend." Jacks heart shatterd he knew he was getting back with her but to hear him say it just killed him inside. Jack sat up and said "o you two got back together?" Mark chuckled and said "yah we did we ended up talking it out and she appoligized." Jack faked a smile and said "thats great man im happy for you." Mark said "hey she wants to talk to you." Jack could hear him passing the phone over and then he heard a girl say ok can you get me a drink as well and then a girl said "hello Jack." Jack said "uh hey im sorry i didnt ever get your name." he could hear it in her voice she was smiling "that dosent matter so do you like Mark?" Jack felt his heart beat fast and his stomach turn and he said "what?" she said back "I take that as a yes i saw your video with the hickeys." jack pulled his shirt up covering them like she could see them and said "thats from a girl I meet." she laughed and said "bull shit you fucked my boyfriend and you love him well guess what faggot ill make it to where you can not see or speak to him ever again because he is mine and will forever be mine and if you try to talk to him you will get hurt got it?" Jack felt like the whole world was crusing on top of him and he was loosing his breath he deffently just lost his best friend to some bitch! she spoke up again and said "got it?" Jack mumbled "yes i do." She smiled and said "good bye he is comin back and you better tell him that you dont want to speak to him never again or else." then he heard he say "o hey baby thank you for the drink here he wants to talk to you again." Jack heard the phone being passed and he grew anxious he didnt wanna lose Mark but what if she hurt him as well then Mark said "hey man." Jack was silent he was crushed and felt empty he is about to lose his best friend then Mark said "you there?" Jack mumled out "never speak to me again." Mark was quiet and said "what?" Jack was in tears now and he said louder "never speak to me ever again Mark." Mark chuckled and said "is this a joke?" Jack said through tears "THIS ISNT A JOKE MARK IM DONE!" then he hung up and threw the phone and cried in a ball he just lost his best friend to some girlfriend he lost the person he loved he could feel the world closing in and and crushing him so tight he felt dead inside and worthless he loved Mark he should have told him that but instead he hid it and now he lost him forever and wont ever get to tell him! Jack could hear his phone blowing up with messges from Mark but he didnt bother to read them there was no point now so Jack picked himself up and went into the kitchen and got something to drink and watched TV to try and keep his mind off of it but it kept driffting away. Jack decided to go for a walk so he changed into clean clothes and went and picked up his phone he looked at it and saw 15 messges from mark but he ignored them and went out the door he walked down to the bar and decided to drink when he got in it was practically empty it only had 5 people in there he walked over to the bar and sat down and orded some alchol. he downed 7 shots of strong alcohol and decided to walk back home when he got there he laid down on the couch and passed out from all the alcohol.