Heroes Assemble!

Nooo! Anything But That!

For the first time in a long time, more years, in fact, than many would dare to admit, owls winged their way throughout the British Isles carrying an accurate news report about the Man-Who-Conquered. The fact that this report was in the form of a front-page news article of The Daily Prophet, would surprise none of the magical population bar one.

That one, of course, happened to be the man in question. As far as he was aware, he'd done nothing to attract the attention of said population since setting foot in the country. Indeed, he'd gone out of his way to ensure that none had gotten wind of his presence, save the one person who he knew that he could trust beyond all others.

Consequently, as he took the liberty of having a lie in (no need to get up early to open the Marauder's Den while he was in a different country), others were sitting down to breakfast, buttering their toast or spooning up some porridge or digging into their bacon. Owls by the flock flapped through windows as they did so to land on tables and chairs and to deliver their burdens. Some took payment in their special pouches, others simply took a quick bite or drink. All though, left behind something that caused more than one to nearly choke on their food or to spit their coffee all over said paper.

Man-Who-Conquered Returns!

by Serena Eiserman

Sources, who shall remain anonymous, confirmed to staff of The Daily Prophet late last night that Harry Potter, The Man-Who-Conquered, has indeed returned to the shores of Britain yesterday.

While there has been much speculation and rumour concerning the whereabouts of Mister Potter during the last seven years, it is believed that this is the first time that he has come home. Exactly what drew Mister Potter to return to us is currently unknown, however, we at The Daily Prophet hope that this is not just a visit, but a prolonged stay in his home country, a feeling that we are certain that the entire population of magical Britain also hold.

Harry Potter has numerous duties and responsibilities that he is long overdue in taking up, not the least of which is the heredity Wizengamot seat that is controlled by the Ancient House of Potter. This seat is in addition to the one that Mister Potter acquired as a part of his Order of Merlin First Class award for ridding magical Britain of the Dark Lord He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Currently, Andromeda Tonks, a distant relative of Mister Potter, sits in his place within the Wizengamot.

Amongst the many and varied reports of Mister Potter's whereabouts over the years is that he has settled in the colonies, where he has joined a group of costumed muggle 'heroes' intent on 'saving the world' and battling evil.

While we here in magical Britain know that Harry Potter is a hero, the concept of the highly magical wizard joining such an absurd group is all but laughable. Much more believable of the many rumours of Mister Potter's whereabouts are the many reports that have surfaced from all over the world where it is believed that Mister Potter has increased not only his knowledge, but also his power, the better to protect and guide us all.

To Mister Potter, our Man-Who-Conquered, we say, 'welcome back!' We look forward to you re-joining society and the wisdom and leadership that you will bring.

To the few owls that stayed long enough to see the reactions of those reading the front-page article, they had more entertainment doing so than they had seen for quite some time.

In Devon, an older, plump lady with red-hair that was fading quickly to grey, clutched her breast at the sight of the headline before falling into the closest chair around the large kitchen table. Upon finishing the article, she quickly read it through a second time before glancing up at the strange clock on the wall before nodding to herself and rushing towards the fire, only pausing just long enough to snatch up some green powder and flinging it into the flames before she thrust her own head into said flames.