" You only truly miss someone when they are gone.
And sometimes, it's hard to let go.
But you have to let him go..."
It is hard when your loved one is gone. But for Riley, it was something different. In a sick sort of way, she loved it-reminiscing...
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It was raining hard in Cloverlind. Hardest early August rain one had ever seen. August rains never happened in 17 years of her living. That day was indeed a queer one. It was like the sun had forever gone away from Cloverlind, never to be seen again. The sky was close to being night. It was that gray; the darkest shade that there was. The weather was harsh and frigid. It seemed too cold. Colder than the coolest winter in Cloverlind. There was nothing but flurry of black all around. Lots of unknown faces blurred past. Faces that were never seen. They all came to share their 'sorrow'. Even an enemy was there... The sun was really gone.....at least for her. He was the sun indeed. He was a joyous thing. He made her laugh like nobody else could. He was a joyous thing. A jovious sunshine. And mostly and mostly of all, he was Leo. Her Leo. Her troublemaker, her happiness, her heart, her soulmate. They did not need yet another dead body in Cloverlind. Yet another death of a lovely person. What was the population of Cloverlind? Somewhere around 350? It was rather, a small town, minus the mass grave population that took almost all of Cloverlind's 4.93 kilometer square land. You stay in Cloverlind, you have 99% chance of dying there. No wonder, the families had blessing ceremonies every month...
But God is God, he'll take lives away just because he has the power...
She used to think having all those graveyards wherever you went was sort of sad, but beautiful in a way. But now, it only made her bitter and reminded her of her own suffering from a loss.
Seeing them sharing their 'sorrow' on him, it didn't sit well with her, it made her infuriated. They didn't know him like she did. Nobody knew him, but her. They didn't even talk to him or like him for that matter! She wanted to scream at them, "You didn't know him! You didn't like him! Go away!" Staying among them made her blood boil despite the pouring frigid condition.
Her dark black raven curls were slick with water and stuck on her forehead which was itching very badly. Rain was being cruel towards her as it's big fat drop pelted her like pebble from the sky. As if mother nature wasn't being cruel to her already.
Mother Nature, or God, to be precise was the most cruel, cruel, cruelest being . She would never see his beauty or colors again seeing and knowing what he did and can do. God was cruel towards her from the very beginning...
She watched his lifeless form in the wooden box, wildflowers in his hand. But, among those gloomy area, bright sunflowers popped everywhere, burning her eyes. She was going insane looking at the haunting yellow of them.
They were meant for happy events. Not ones for the sad events ! She wanted to kill the person who put those around his grave.
Is this some sort of joke to them?! Why isn't anybody noticing this?!
As much as she wanted to shout, she couldn't. Because, right now, her body was rigid and paralyzed. She couldn't say anything or twitch or even blink. Her beautiful innocent looking wide doe-y eyes shed nothing but salty water, getting mixed with the water pelts from above. All she was able to do was breath shallowly. She had hard time believing that that day was real. She noticed the flurry of black with grim faces. Everyone had umbrellas, except her. She was sure she'd get a dangerous flu, but she couldn't care any lesser . All of them looked the same to her now. She felt nothing at all. The sides of her head was totally numb. She felt numb. She was numb. The event passed by in a flurry as now he was closed in the wooden box and was being slowly put down in the muddy ground eight feet below. He was gone. She still kept looking at the place even after it was covered up with mud.
"It's time to go now..." Maria whispered in her wet hair, umbrella over her head. She still did not twitch or blink.
Maria left her alone, understanding that she should just leave her be and let her come whenever she wanted, even if it was raining.
People passed her by, giving her sympathetic glances. Nobody said anything to her. It was better that way, they figured.
Lexi and Simon also left her alone. They knew better than to talk to her right now. Lexi shared a hard sympathetic glance with her blotchy and inky eyes, before she left with Simon too.
One by one everyone left with their umbrellas atop their heads. She was left all alone...
She looked and looked at the fresh grave; hoping for something, anything to happen. It was childish of her, yes. But she couldn't help but hope for him to come out like it happened in movies and say " It was all a joke to scare you ." And then, she'd go towards him and kiss him hardly on the mouth like she always wanted to and then slap him the hardest and then engulf him in a bone crushing hug and cry.
But that wasn't happening, was it?
She decided that staying there any longer will do her no good. So she forced herself to back away step by step, still in a blank state. It was as if an invisible hand was helping her to move her numb feelingless body. It hand helped her turn away from his grave. If it weren't for that, she could tell she would've been stuck there, standing and doing nothing. The invisible force helped her walk. It was pushing her to move on... She still wasn't feeling anything at all . It was the worst because she wasn't feeling anything at all... The feeling or that 'no feeling' indicated something dangerous towards her mentally and physically. She walked alone in the rain, her long hair all damp and stuck to her neck and arms. Her small black dress clung to her porcelain pale delicate looking body. Water droplets continuously rained down her. The rain still had no mercy or whatsoever on the poor soul walking alone. It was continuously pelting her harshly. She didn't mind the itchiness, redness or the coldness; she just moved on by the road that held not a single living soul—just her, the road, the trees, the grumbling thunder and the merciless rain.
The loudest thunder of the day rang off with a blinding flash of light. She flinched for the first time with a gasp as her blood finally began to flow in her brain. She finally started to feel and think. She didn't want to. She was afraid of this–exact–moment...
She finally realized how cold it was. She began to shake violently all of a sudden, her jaws shaking, her teeth chattering. She finally began to register her feelings as reality came crashing down on her like a boulder. She panicked. She started breathing in and out, in and out. But she had difficulty in breathing. It was as if there was a hole somewhere that let all the air leak away. She fell to her knees, bruising it in the process. She looked up to the night like sky, craning her neck upwards, water droplets running down her lashes.
Please have mercy, bring him back.....
The sky thundered in return.
That can't happen.
Her eye-lids closed slowly and sadness hit her in such a force that was all too hard to take in... She couldn't bear the thought of how he'd live alone down there all cold and lonely. She couldn't bear the thought of him living in that filthy muddy place. She couldn't believe that this was real and not a dream...
For the first time in the day, she opened her mouth. Only to scream out as much loud as she could, wishing everybody heard her sadness. Meanwhile, the thunder joined her...
She was drowning deeper every passing moment. She was giving up. She was letting go. She was surrendering to the bottom...and she was breaking piece by piece. It won't get long for those pieces to drift away....
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Phew! A lil deep for me, I know! I can't believe I wrote that! But, let me know your thoughts.
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