" You only truly miss someone when they are gone.
And sometimes, it's hard to let go.
But you have to let him go..."
It is hard when your loved one is gone. But for Riley, it was something different. In a sick sort of way, she loved it-reminiscing...
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She gasped and woke up, springing up on her messy bed. Her raven black waves all tangled and in a wild mess. Something to do with the dreams, she reckoned. It was almost one year, since she couldn't remember what dreams she saw. The dreams were weird, really. They came in blinking snippets. Some sort of white marble-like things bouncing gracefully in slow-motion. And the background music consisted of some almost inaudible old trumpets.They happened exactly before six, acting as her alarm clock.
She fell back on her covers with a sigh and looked up at her ceiling. It was filled with glowy stars. She used to find them exciting as a child. Even in her recent teen years she liked to fall asleep to them. But now, they were nothing but dull ol'stars. They were as good as being invisible to her. She blinked once, twice, trying to bring the sleep back in; no use. It was getting on her nerves. She couldn't sleep everyday, all night, and when she did get some sleep, her sleep got interrupted by an unknown dream. She really wanted to sleep properly for once, she really did. After all, sleep was the only proper way to truly banish the reality away. But ever since that day, sleep never welcomed her properly.
The streamlined sunlight from the curtains disturbed her, and prevented from her to fall back asleep. She huffed in irritation.
What is wrong with God? Can't he stop disturbing me ? Can't he make me fall asleep? He is doing 'many' things...
She flipped and turned on her bed. Trying for a better position for sleep to invite her in. But she knew that wouldn't work. She frustratedly sat up and didn't even want to stay in anymore, despite the day being a Sunday morning.
She got down and wore her slippers. She began fixing her bed and avoided looking at the hundred-ish photos stuck on her wall. She wanted to pluck them out but keep them at the same time. Mostly because it had him and her old-self in it.
She took a shower and wore her usual baggy tee and a high bun with jeans. She went downstairs, tip-toeing as to not wake anyone up. In the Myers household, weekends meant sleeping until 10:00AM. She reached for the water jug and poured some in her glass and chugged it down. She grabbed the sticky notes and reached for the pen.
'Going to Lanie's, gonna have my breakfast there. See you later.' She stuck it on the fridge and scribbled down, her once expensive looking handwriting all gone. Nowadays, she couldn't care any lesser about her and her appearance .
She jogged for the door and opened it to be greeted by dancing colorful summer flowers in their front yard. They were all her favorites. But she didn't stop to greet them like she used to. She just reached for her bike from the garage and rode on it.
She paddled through the suburban area, all beautiful and posh, birds chirping and trees swishing, the flowers blooming in all their glory while the warm sun shone above. She used to be very observant and adventurous. But now, she doesn't observe anything. Not even the colors nor the light. She even refused to feel anything at all. The things she once learned from him, they didn't matter to her anymore .
