Far From Perfect

Chapter 3

I look through all my dresses before settling on my favorite black skater dress and quickly slip it on over my head, glad that I have a dress that is just right for the occasion. It is one of my favorites because it fits me perfectly in spite of my large voluptuous figure. It flares out from the waist down and covers up my stomach that isn't all that perfect. But with this dress, you would never know a difference.

After giving myself a quick glance in the mirror, I proceed to choose my shoes and pick out my red Chucks. After all, I'm not trying to impress anyone. If that were the case I'd wear my four-inch black pumps, but for this occasion, I'm keeping it simple, because I don't want Nate or really anyone to get the wrong impression.

I look at myself in the mirror for the first time in days and see how my outfit is coming together. It's not perfect, but I am pleased with how I look.

I make my way to my dresser and grab my black Spanx from my undergarments drawer. I slip them on underneath my dress, and immediately feel ten times better. My Spanx help keep my legs from chafing. I don't know who created them, but whoever did is a genius and a thigh saver, because there is no worse feeling than wearing a dress and having your thighs rub together. It's a pain, especially when you have big thighs like me, but Spanx make wearing dresses a hell of a lot easier.

"Are you almost ready?" Mia asks from the other side of the door.

"Just about!" I yell, letting her know I am close to done.

I walk over to my jewelry box on my nightstand and pick out a pair of silver hoops that are covered in crystals. I put them on before making my way to my bathroom to find my large case of makeup. I look through all the eyeshadow I own and decide on a smoky look for my hazel eyes.

I quickly find everything I need to do my makeup and go all out on my look. When I finish, I feel proud of myself. I haven't worn makeup in days and it honestly turned out better than I expected. My hazel eyes are popping and my lip color is light but I love it because it makes my eyes the focus of my face. That's exactly what I want. I like accentuating my eyes because they are my favorite feature.

A loud knock raps on my bedroom door followed by Mia's voice. "Are you done yet?" she asks.

I look at myself one last time in the mirror and do a pirouette, making sure that everything is in check. I know that I am not perfect and that I definitely won't be one of the prettiest girls at the party, but for once I feel content with my appearance.

My raven black hair is curled to its natural perfection, my outfit looks nice enough for a party and my makeup looks great. There isn't much else I can ask for, especially not for a plus sized girl like me.

It usually takes me ten times longer to get ready, because I never feel satisfied with anything I put on but for some reason today is different. I don't know why. It's just another day like any other day, but whatever the reason may be, I am just glad I feel the way I do. This feeling...it's new to me. I have never felt this way about myself.

And I mean never.

I always avoid the mirror unless I absolutely need it, and when I do look in the mirror, I can hardly stand to look at myself. On my worst days, I absolutely hate what I see, because I only see the fat girl people have mocked over the years, and I can't help but hate her and everything that she is. To see anything else besides what I have seen all my life is nearly impossible because all I feel for the girl reflected in the mirror is hate, disgust, and anger.

I hate her so much. People taught me to hate her, to hate me, and I do. Every single time I look in the mirror, I hate who I see, but not today. Today is different.