Trust Me, Don't Let Go (Crown The Empire)

Chapter 3: Sympathetic Thing

*Amber*

I was sent back home to make sure my bruises have an actual recovery. Andy didn't want me to catch any unwanted attention nor leave me in the bus, so he made it simple; he sent me home. I was chilling on my bed until Alana comes in.
"The guys want us to go to the awards in Cleveland," Alana groaned.
"What's wrong about that?" I asked, but she decided to shrug it off with annoyance.
"It's getting boring," she whined, but it wasn't the first she has made a complaint. Sadly, I also knew it wasn't the last. It began to become a method for her to draw me away, but honestly, it encouraged my independence. 
"I'll go. I can switch my spot with AJ again," I offered, and as expected, Alana's face lit up again.
"You would do that for me?" she asked. It became obvious that she didn't want me around anymore. As if she didn't mean it indirectly, yet it was. 
"Yeah. I think it's time for me to go back," I explained. Excitement ran through her, and it made her come my way. She climbed on top off me and began putting her weight on me. Even though I was on my bed, she was still heavy enough to hurt me. 
"Alana, get off," I felt the weight remove the air out of me. 
"Oh sorry!" she chuckled, and we both started laughing. Although my laugh was for me to feel the disappointment shaken off.
"Would you want to join me to the awards though?" I asked. However, it led to Alana loosing her grip on the laughing time. 
"I don't know. Will AJ be there?" she asked as I felt her eyes locked on my face, and I took a while to answer. 
"He should be," I answered as I face her, "Why don't you guys date already?" She rolled her eyes exasperation. Her attitude has the power of making me feel as if I'm a burden, a disturance, to her.
"Who said I wasn't?" she responded, and I got up with my jaw beginning to swing.
"No way," I say, and she looks at me with a glare.
"I'm still not," she chuckled. She gave me a look as an irritated older brother would give to a younger sibling after he would say something without any knowledge of it. 
"Why can't you date Andy? He's not with Bailey anymore," Alana asked me crossing her arms.
"It's complicated," I mumbled. She rolled her eyes while she rolled off the bed to head to the room. She then came running back with Mr. Frog. The stuffed animal that we used to talk about how we felt incase we didn't feel comfortable with it. She spread on her habit of rolling her eyes on to me as if it was a simple transaction.  
"Talk to Mr. Frog about your problem," she demanded, and I thought it was ridiculous. I just gave her a sarcastic look. I hope she doesn't think I'm dumb enough to fall for it. 
"I haven't talk to Mr. Frog in ages. I'm not-"
"Talk to Mr. Frog!" Alana demanded without a bit of charisma or sincerety.
"Alana-"
"Talk to Mr. Frog."
"Alana, please. This is-"
"Talk to Mr. Frog!" she screamed rudely, and it fed me up that she didn't even let me speak. I took the stuffed animal from her hand, and I threw it to the other side of the hall way in pure frustration.  Her eyebrows knitted themselves together, and she looked at me in disgust in a way making me feel the guilt of feeling angry. 

"Look Alana-"
"Talk to Mr. Frog, or I won't talk to you," she demanded, and at this point, I wasn't capable of controlling my anger. With a sudden turn, she faced the wall with her arms crossed. Are you serious? This is fucking childish. 
"Alana, this is serious-"
She began to tune me out by filling the holes of her ears with her fingers, and she started humming. This was my trigger to snap, and sure as hell, shots were fired. 
"Fuck you, Alana! All you ever fucking do is have your head in your own fucking ass with everyday that you fucking have. I'm over here fucking doing the best of on my own and for both of us, and you as my best friend are sadly the reason for the struggle!" I snapped. She stays quiet as she unplugs her ears. She turns around with the disappointment and disbelief painted on her face. 
"What makes you say that?" she asked, making it seem as if I was completely blind of what she had in mind. 
"You just want me to be gone for AJ can visit you. Everytime I need to talk to you about something important, you don't answer! When you need me, I was and will be always there. What about me, Alana? I needed you the day I got beaten up by Bailey, and you weren't there! You're never there for me, in fact," I snapped, and we both stared at each other. Suddenly, I had realization come into mind, and there were those I regretted to see in my presence. 
"I'm your best friend and only friend. Do you think I would be here if I didn't care?" she asked with the same tone. The tone used to turn the tables. The tone used to change the attacker and victim aspect of the conversation, but I wasn't falling for it. Not this time.
"Yea. If you haven't noticed, I really have been having a really rough time right now. All I'm asking from you is to distract me from all the bullshit! You're too busy distracting yourself," I cried. I did it. She looked away from me, and forced the guilt into her. The guilt she refused to contain during the past few years. "That's why you stayed because I gave you the attention you couldn't give... Am I wrong?" I asked. The color on her face turned to a pink. Alana always had a habit of walking away something she didn't want to face. As of right now, she walked away. 
"It isn't like that," she muttered. But it was. It bothered me that she refused to be accountable for her absence. In reality, I knew this was the poison I needed to relieve myself from. I knew she wouldn't be fine without me, but it wouldn't work out vise versa. I needed to leave. Right now. Right here.
"You can have AJ in your life, just stay out of mine," I say as tears begin to climb down my chin. I grab the suitcase inside my closet underneath all of the rags from my previous years of being friends with her. I decided to leave that behind, and I began to empty out my drawers and fill up the suitcase as if I was emptying my bottle of liquor into a small glass; something thing to take away the pain. I waited for her to stop me or to add resistance on my departure. I stopped to acknowledge her presence in the room, and she stared at me with a blank canvas waiting for me to hand her the colors for her creation. I looked at her as my vision blurred with the tears that found away to soothe me and my pain. I shook my head as I released a small whimper, facing the emptiness in her expression. The tears began to rain across my jammed-in clothing inside the suitcase. Instead of letting myself break, I wiped my tears of anger, of loss, of being lost. 
"Amber, it doesn't have to be that way. Here let me help you unpack. Everything is alright," she says as she begins to remove my clothing. I quickly removed her hands and unintendedly shoved her off.
"Get the fuck off!" I lashed out. The fuel has been official sparked, and the fire began to spread with in my body. My blood began to boil until her tears eased it out. She held her head in her hands, weeping her words into her hands. 
"I'm sorry you feel that way. You were doing fine without me," she cried. Although I had the opportunity to argue, I didn't can't tolerate it. At this point, it shocked me that she would even apologized, but that wasn't the apology that was needed to heal this wound.
"No. Goodbye Alana," I clenched my fist as I zipped my bag. It began to seem so artificial to me that it made me feel those words didn't matter. Did they? I ran so fast that I didn't even watch the bridge burn.
"Amber! Please!" Alana cried as I walked past the door. The weight that was taken from me after the door frame made this whole situation feel figmental. I tossed my luggage in the trunk and walked to the driver's seat.
Once I locked the door, I began trying to soothe myself. I started the car and buckled myself in the seat. I looked up to see Alana's face shriveled up from tears into a ominous look that could carve it's purpose in my heart. I began to drive off with her look lingering within the goosebumps in my skin.