Maylee Micheals
October 13,2019
11:51 p.m
I sat in my dark office using the little bit of light from the table top lamp to illuminate the lines on the notebook. I stared blankly at the pages battling with my inner thoughts, on what I wanted to write in today's entry. I took another inhale of the blunt that resided in my left hand. Exhaling the smoke I leaned back into the chair letting the high take over my body.
Gripping the pen tightly in my hand, I quickly began spilling out my secrets onto the notebook paper. I let the ink bleed into the paper.
'I feel like my demons are starting to control my life. I'm not the same smiling Maylee who entered college with hopes of a better future. Hoping that one day I could escape my hell of a life, and finally be happy.
I soon realized that my demons follows me everywhere I go and I can't get rid of them until I face them head on. But, was I ready to face my problems, or was I ready to keep running. Keep running, hoping that I could leave my demons in the shadows.
But, even I know that isn't nowhere near possible. If I want to get rid of my demons then I'll have to confront the old terrible memories that still lace my mind. No matter how hard I try to push these memories to the back of my head, it never seemed to work. They always found a way back up.
This is hilarious coming from me. Maylee Micheals. The young girl who opened up a huge center focusing on the blog she created at the age of 16. The blog that helped everyone know that they matter and people loved them, even if nobody ever told them.
Funny how I could help provide help for people going through their own demons, but i'm scared to fight my own demons. I'm scared and I truly hate to say that.
I'm scared.'
I felt tears start to cascade down my face. All the emotions that I bottled up throughout the years came cascading down all at once. When I was younger I was scared to talk to people about what was going on at home, so the only way I coped with all my bottled up emotions is by crying.
I used my right hand to wipe my tears. I took several deep breaths in hope to calm myself down.
"Shit!" I hissed smashing the roach into the ashtray. I was so into writing that I didn't realize that I had reached the end of the blunt.
I looked down at my hands seeing the blister starting to form. I cursed underneath my breath, standing up from the chair I walked over to the small personal bathroom connected to my office. Flicking the lights on, I avoided looking at myself in the mirror as I fished through the medicine cabinet.
Rummaging pass several medicine bottles until I found the neosporin. Applying the gel onto the blister and wrapping it with a bandaid. I heard my office door open causing me to scowl at the person's lack of respect. Everybody knows that I hate when people just walk into my office without knocking.
"It smells like straight weed, ganga, mary jane, pot in this bitch." JuJu voiced as she began spraying air freshener throughout the room.
"I mean I would've had time to air this bitch out--only if you could've knocked before entering." I rolled my eyes before sitting down in the large chair behind my desk.
"Damn. What crawled up your ass and died?" She asked sarcastically as she sat in one of the chairs in front of my desk.
"Nothing--I'm just stressed like a motherfucker right now." I rubbed my hands over my forehead feeling my high start to wear off quickly and a headache take its place. "I have to plan a huge dinner in a week. I got so much shit to do."
"I mean--that's the responsibility of owning a business. Of course you're gonna feel overwhelmed in the beginning, but the end results will be beneficial in many ways."
"How is gonna be beneficial? Hmm--because everybody has been saying that but never gave me their reasons for thinking that."
"First of all May chill ya lil ass out. You can land multiple sponsors who could put money into building another facility somewhere else. You gotta think on the positive side and not this negative nancy shit you been on."
"You right." I looked to my right opening the mirrored box grabbing another pre-rolled blunt. JuJu looked over at me with a look of disgust before snatching the blunt and box away from me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
I went to reach for the box back, but every time I tried to attempt. She would slap my hand away. After a while I grew frustrated and threw my body back into the seat.
"Really May--we talked about this shit." She scoffed rolling her eyes as she counted the blunt. "I told you one blunt here and there was okay. But this shit right here is unacceptable."
"It's just four tiny little blunts." She groaned, closing her eyes taking a minute before replying to me.
"It isn't just a tiny little blunt. It's mutlitple and you're acting a like a fucking addict right now--if you need a blunt before you eat, go to sleep, when you wake up, and just for the hell of it everyday. Then you're a damn addict."
"I'm not an addict--weed just makes me feel good." I argued back slightly raising your voice.
I watched as she stood to her feet walking into the bathroom quickly with the box in her hand. I sat back into the chair closing my eyes. The once small headache soon became a migraine. I flinched rubbing my head. I heard the toilet flush which caused me to jump up and see what JuJu was doing.
I walked into the bathroom and noticed a smile on her face. I looked into the box and seen all the blunts were unrolled and the only thing left was the backwoods. "Why the hell did you do that?" I narrowed my eyes at her feeling the anger begin to rise.
"Maylee I don't want you to be no damn addict trying to run from your demons--you're better than that and we both know it. You have so much to achieve in life to just throw it away smoking weed everyday--now I'm not saying smoking weed is bad. But the rate you're smoking is the only bad thing."
I huffed knowing that JuJu was right. Her outspokenness was one thing I hated and loved about her. She didn't hold her tongue for nobody and she let anybody know how she felt.
"You're right."
"I know I am--but are you gonna take my idea and go to therapy?" I looked at her for a while contemplating what I could say.
"I'll think about it."
