I bounced the pen up and down as a read some letters that people sent me for personal advice. This had to be one of my favorite parts of the job where I can personally connect with someone on a personal level.
This specific email was very similar to the situation I was in. I placed my pen down and read the email carefully.
Dear Ms. Maylee,
I decided to write you on this terrible day to ask you for advice. I remember several times where you spoke about losing your child to an abuser. I'm in the same shoes that you are in and I don't know what to do.
I asked my mama how can I heal from this terrible event in my life. Nobody expects to lose a child to the person, they thought they loved. My mama told me to just get over it because it happened and I can't change the past. That answer wasn't good enough for me, that's why I'm writing you.
How can I deal with the emotional and mental trauma after losing my child to the man I was in love with? I hope that you can get back to me.
Love,
Spain M.
I felt my hands moving without even having to think of what I was gonna say. I felt an emotional connection to her just from going through the same thing as her. I felt like it was my mission to help her heal, so that she could move on with her life.
Dear Spain,
First and foremost I am truly sorry that you had to go through something so terrible. I can tell you that it won't be easy in the beginning but it will get better. Something this emotional and mentally damaging takes a while to get over and fully heal.
My first thing I could tell you is write your emotions down. Writing down your feeling daily help you release some of your emotions and help you from getting bottled up. Next, I would say is forgiveness. I know you probably looking at me like I'm stupid, but it'll help you I promise.
Forgive that man but don't forget. Have no hate in your heart from him, so that you aren't carrying that hate in you. Having hate bottled up will not help you proceed to move up.
My final tip for you is time. Time will heal all pain, and losing a child will take a while for you to fully heal. I can tell you that i'm 4 years in and i'm not fully healed yet. And that is okay because I'm on the journey to embracing what happened.
I promise it will get better over time love. Keep me updated regularly on your journey to healing. I am truly sorry for you lose. I will be here whenever you need me.
Sincerely,
Maylee.
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"May!" JuJu barged into my office carrying a takeout bag in her hand. The smile on her face was so contagious it caused me to smile to.
"We brought you some food." She handed me the food before Mrs. Holland came waltzing in the door.
I took the food out seeing they brought me food from my favorite soul food restaurant in town. I opened the container and felt my mouth water and stomach rumble seeing the baked macaroni and cheese, the baked chicken, the sweet potato, and cornbread stuffed on the plate.
I said a quick prayer to myself before digging into the food. I looked up at both of them staring down at me causing me to close my food and sit back in my chair.
"Wassup with ya'll?" They had something underneath they sleeve and I couldn't put my finger on it.
"We wanna talk to you."
"Okay." I scrunched my face together because this was coming out of nowhere.
"Have you thought about dating again?" I was confused because I was trying to figure out where all this was coming from.
"I have but haven't found someone that matched my standards. I lowered them to many times and it's finally time that I keep them at the level they should be."
"So, Austin isn't an excuse for you not dating no more?"
Austin was my ex that I recently broke up with last year. I had met him 2 years ago and was instantly attached to him. I don't know if it was the demeanor he carried with him or it was his sense of ambition.
I couldn't get enough of Austin. His physical appearance was up to par with his personality. The dreads that laced his head, his smooth skin, his bright white teeth that was topped of with the golds, and his sense of style.
He loved me even when I didn't love myself. He made sure that I never tried to downplay myself when I was feeling down on myself. He was there for me when I helped myself grow.
I wasn't looking for a relationship when I first met Austin, and I explained that to him. He stayed around as a friend that made sure my mental health was good and that I was on my shit.
I somehow got feelings for him down the road causing us to go into the relationship route. I could say I was truly happy he showered me with love and affection. He was everything I needed in my life, even with his flaws he was a beautiful person.
Our relationship ended on a good note. He was offered an amazing job of opening his first clothing store all the way in Minnesota. I couldn't just up and leave Texas to go with him because this was my life. I had established a business here and I couldn't just leave.
We decided that it was best for us to break up with no hard feelings. We promised each other that if we ever crossed paths again, we'll give our relationship another try.
"No, why?" I spoke still confused as ever. Sometimes I had moments where my brain didn't process information that fast.
