The Love Bite [boyxboy]

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen (Alexander)

I woke up in a cold sweat.

My whole body was trembling, sweat streaking down from my temples, making my hair stick to my face as I panted hard, staring up at the ceiling before looking around. The lights from the city outside peeked through the blinds over the windows, giving light to everything inside.

I glanced over to see Storm and Mark fast asleep. Storm was scooted all the way on the other side of the bed from Mark, lying on his side and facing the bathroom. Mark lay curled up facing the bed I shared with Amber. From this distance, even I could see that his eyes were a little red and puffy from crying, making my heart sink.

I looked at Amber, who slept on her back in the giant t-shirt Storm had brought back for her from Wal-Mart before I looked down at myself. I slept in just my boxers, but even then, I suddenly felt hot and sick to my stomach. I pushed the blankets back and brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them before shutting my eyes tightly.

I felt sick.

I felt... terrible.

I couldn't sleep knowing that, no matter what Mark said, this was my fault.

He could do whatever he wanted to try and cheer me up, but it wouldn't work because I knew when I had done something wrong and this was it. The one time I break free from my parents and I do something totally stupid and terrible.

I ruined everyone's lives.

I tricked Mark into thinking he loved Storm and they were meant to be. I tricked Mark into helping me jack off because my body ached for Nicholas. My heart ached for Nicholas and I lied, telling them it didn't matter when it did.

I loved Nicholas so much, it hurt.

Tears burned my eyes and I finally flopped on the bed again, pulling the blankets around me tightly as I shut my eyes, letting my tears streak down my face and onto the pillow under my head. I sniffled, wiping at my eyes, but the moment my fingers passed over them, more tears flowed freely, so I gave up and let myself cry until Amber put her arm around me, surprising me as she held me against her chest tightly, tucking her leg over mine.

"Sssh," Amber murmured, "It's okay, Ally cat." For some reason, hearing her try to comfort me only made me want to sob. I choked it back and just cried as silently as I could as Amber rubbed her hand up and down my arm, kissing me gently on the head.

"I'm so terrible." I whispered, choking for breathing, my voice shaking as my chest ached with wrenching sobs. Amber tightened her grip on me, kissing my cheek as she rested her head on top of mine.

"You are not."

"I am to. I'm a selfish liar."

"No, Ally cat. Totally wrong. Baby, you're a great person. You've just been on autopilot all these years and now that you can finally take the wheel, you're scared. You keep pulling off into the wrong lane, but you'll put yourself back on."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm your big sister and I know everything."

"Do not."

"Do to, now shut up and get as much rest as you can. We have a busy... well, future ahead of us." Amber said softly, kissing my temple one last time before falling back on her side. I felt lonely when she rolled away, so I rolled back to face her and curled up against her. Amber sighed, but smiled as she put her arm around me.

"Nighty night, Ally cat."

"Night, Amber."

I finally managed to fall asleep, only to wake up seven hours later to the sound of the television. My eyelids fluttered open, feeling heavy as I reached up to rub at my eye. I flopped on my back, realizing Amber had already gotten up. I opened my eyes and sat up slowly to see Mark sitting on the end of his bed, wearing a black sweatshirt and matching jeans. The sweatshirt was a bit too big on him, hanging past his waist. He was eating cereal and beside him was a cart full of breakfast food. By breakfast food, I mean instead of a gallon of milk, it was a water gallon filled with blood.