It feels like dying

Chapter 15 "Souls"

He didn't talk,he just keep staring at her as she was moving closer to him.

"What is this,Draco?"

"Just a letter.From my mum."He finally said.

She sat beside him on the bed and met his ocean eyes.

She couldn't see him like this,so broken.

"Is she okay?"She asked,her voice low and soft.

"What?"

"Your mother,is she okay?"

"Oh,um yes,she's fine."

She placed her hand on his.He didn't respond.He couldn't move,even though he wanted to touch her.He just couldn't.

"Can you kiss me?"She questioned a bit unsure about her request.

He didn't say anything but felt his body leaning towards her,he couldn't control it and he was dying to touch her,he needed her.

He slowly reached her lips and kissed them but it only lasted some seconds before he pulled away.

She sighed as she looked at him,his head low.

"Draco."She whispered as she squeezed his hand."Look at me."

He raised his head and looked deep into her eyes.He was crying.Tears were all over his cheeks and his eyes were red.

She immediately threw her arms around him and tightened them.

After some seconds,she felt his hands moving on her waist.

"It's okay."She murmured as she was feeling his whole body shaking.

"I don't want to hurt you."He whispered,maybe more to himself.

Her mind went back to one of their kisses,he had told her the same thing and she had told him that he wouldn't hurt her.Had he believed her back then?Maybe not.So she thought she would try again.

"You won't hurt me."

He didn't know what he could say.So he just held her and she just rested against him for some time,maybe it was for some minutes,maybe for some hours.

Just breathing and feeling each other.

She pulled away and met his sad eyes.

"It's Christmas tomorrow."She murmured.

"Yeah."

"We will spend the day together,right?"

"Sure."

She sighed.

"Is there something that you want to tell me?"

He kept looking at her.Should he tell her?No,absolutely not,it was too dangerous.He had to protect her,even if that meant that he would lie to her.

He couldn't put her life in danger,he could never forgave himself if something happened to her.

So he forced a little smirk and squeezed her hand.

"No,everything is fine."

It worked,she smiled and he immidiately felt better,probably forgot all about the letter for several minutes.

"Feeling like taking a walk?"He asked.

"Sure."
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They made it to the nearest yard,the colours on the sky were magical,orange,red,yellow,pink all together.

The sun was slowly hiding behind the castle,the white snow making the yard even more amazing.

Definitely the most beautiful time of the year.

Hermione took his hand as they started walking along the castle.

His was fighting with bad thoughts in his head and had tried to stop them several times without success.He knew she could see that he wasn't okay and he was kind of grateful that she didn't ask him more about his weird change of mood.

She was just doing what he needed her to,be there with him.

He couldn't believe that he actually used to hate the girl that was now holding his hand so tight that he could feel his bones breaking but didn't give a damn about it.

He stopped and turned so he could face her.He stared into her eyes making her get lost into his blue ones.

That feeling that he was giving her every time he was close was amazing and all in all unique.She hadn't felt it before him.

She closed her eyes and took a step closer as she felt his body pressed into hers.

He was so close to her,she could taste every little breath of his on her tongue.

And then his lips brushed over hers so gently that took her some time to understand that he was kissing her.

His beautiful,unreal lips.His movements were always soft but at the same time powerful.

They broke apart but kept their heads close,their lips almost touching.

He curled his fingers between hers and they stayed there,both trying to calm their breathings while looking at each other.

He needed this,a small escape from the dark reality,and he knew she needed it too.

And as she was gazing at him,she could say that she would never get tired of just looking at his eyes,at him.

She could see her future,her future dreams and plans and they all included him,included Draco.

She could put her happiness in his fragile hands and be totally sure about it.Because her happiness lied with him,and it was the first time she was realising it.

It reminded her of what Tonks had told her when she was still with Ron.

Throughout your life you'll meet one person who is unlike any other.And when that time comes,you'll understand it,you'll feel it in your heart and in your bones.

When  you meet that one person,never let him go.

And she remembered back then,she had convinced herself that that person was Ron.But it wasn't,and she knew it,she just didn't want to believe it.

And now,she was standing at an empty yard with Draco Malfoy holding her and she was feeling it,that emotion that you can't describe but only feel it.

And then these three words.

"I love you."

His eyes locked with hers as he listened to these very words.And he stayed quiet,carefully thinking of what he could possibly say.

But there were no options.Because he was feeling it too,everytime he would look at her,talk to her,kiss her.

And if there was only one perfect match for each person,then she was definitely his pairing soul.

So for once in his life,he could actually say that he was in love,in love with Hermione Granger.

Weird how quickly you can go from hating to loving someone.

"I love you."He murmured and pressed her closer to him.

It was a feeling beyond their imagination,a feeling that was only for these two.

"It's funny."He paused as she felt her head moving and resting on his chest."By the time I was falling apart,you came and put me back together."

She smiled,even though he wasn't  able to see it.

His words were so honest,so beautiful.

Even though it wasn't the truth.She didn't save him,she was just there for him.He saved himself.

And now she could feel tears in her eyes,tears of happiness that he had given her with his words and actions.

Was that what love felt like?

Definitely.