A Heart of Gold {Completed✔}

Chapter 35

Connor's POV

I sighed, breathing in Lindsay's baby scent and glanced at Aspen. Her cupid bow mouth was pursed as tiny puffs of breath escaped. Lindsay stretched and I looked down at her. Her tiny fists raised, she moved her head and opened her eyes. I grinned, man did I love her so much already. I ran a finger over her hair and kissed her cheek. Sighing, I fingered a strand of her hair. How would I handle finding out who's daughter she really was? I closed my eyes then looked at Aspen. Hair falling over her face. My hand ached to push back the ruthless hair from her face and I shook myself mentally. Come on Connor! What did you promise Olivia and you said that you would respect her wishes! I jiggled Lindsay impatiently and she arched her back, starting to sob. I groaned inwardly and turned to Aspen. She groaned, yawning. Throwing an arm over her face, she spoke groggily. "Bring her to me. She's hungry." I trudged over to her. She sat up and covered her mouth. I handed Lindsay to her and she instantly stopped crying. Aspen glanced at me furtively then blushed. I glanced away as she pulled down her top and helped Lindsay latch on. I looked back at her sideways and smiled as Lindsay pushed her tiny fist against Aspen's breast. She smiled down at her and gently stroked her hair. Awkwardly I cleared my throat. "Does she sleep a lot in the day?" Aspen gave me a faint smile and shrugged, "It depends on when she wakes up. There's no real pattern for her other than feeding time." I nodded slowly and stood, rubbing my neck. "Do you want me to stay with you? And help with Lindsay of course." Aspen bit her lip and sighed, "What about Olivia? How come she hasn't called?" I groaned and shrugged, "I told her she couldn't call me today so she's been texting like crazy, but if I need to. I will make her understand that she does not come before my daughter. She never will." Aspen's eyes widened and she shook her head, "Connor! She needs to be just as important as Lindsay, you want her to be a part of your family don't you? Sometimes you scare me." I gaped at her and hung my head. "I scare you?" She nodded her head reluctantly and looked me in the eyes. "You just switch so quickly and some of the things you want..I don't understand. You love so..weirdly. You promised to never love me remember? And when Logan came into my life..you chased him with everything you could. I don't understand you anymore." I closed my mouth slowly and opened it again, only to close it again. "I-I-I'm sorry. I don't know..I don't know why." I avoided her eyes and I heard her pat Lindsay gently. I looked at her and she narrowed her eyes. "When you lie, you avoid my eyes. So you do know why but if you don't want to tell me. That is fine." Lindsay gave a healthy burp and I couldn't help but chuckle. I sighed and looked out the window, "I promised myself to never fall in love with you because.. because I knew you would hurt me. Everyone and every woman does. My mom..the woman you think is not my mom. She's my stepson. My real mom left us when I was 4 months old." Aspen gasped, "Connor..Connor I'm so sorry. How could you not tell me?" I shrugged and squinted, "My dad told me at a young age and so..I couldn't. I knew you would so I vowed to never fall in love with you...but that didn't work. I fell in love with you a long time ago." Aspen laid Lindsay in her bed and wrapped her arms around herself. "I would have never hurt you Connor..never purposely." I looked at her and she moved quickly over and laid a hand on my shoulder. I stared into her eyes and leaned forward a little. She cleared her throat and scratched her ear. "No Connor..I'm sorry you felt that way about me." I looked back out the window, my face reddening. "It was stupid I know..and my step-mom resented me when my dad married her..when I was 5." Aspen sighed, "I didn't know you then..so why did she resent you?" I shrugged, "I really don't know but it took awhile for us to get along. Mainly because I thought my real mother had died and that my step mom..Mom was trying to upstart our family."
"Why did you never have siblings?"
"Dad never really told me other than she couldn't.. but I don't believe him really." Aspen looked at me sharply, "Why not?" I sighed, "My dad never seemed to want more kids after my biological mom left." Aspen nodded, understanding. We both glanced at Lindsay and smiled at each other. "I think that you'll be a great dad Connor...when do you want to do the DNA test?" I glanced at Lindsay again and sighed. "Is it weird how I want to know and not know at the same time?" Aspen looked me and sighed, "No it's not..I don't want to know either..just because I love Logan and I want Lindsay to be his daughter.. But I also love you.. in a weird way and want you to be happy." She sighed and shivered slightly, "Not today..not this week..not soon. Please Connor, I barely have gotten over the fact that Logan is gone." Her blue eyes burned into mine and tears slipped down her cheeks. I reached out and wiped away a tear. "Okay.. we don't have to do it now.. or soon. Whenever you're ready..we'll do it." She smiled at me gratefully and pulled away gently. She hurried over to Lindsay and I saw her shoulders shake. If only I could do something to change how she felt.

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Awee Caspen is cute! I wonder who Lindsay's father is...haha I honestly haven't picked yet so we'll see! Also thanks for understanding that I couldn't publish yesterday. Love y'all💗
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xoxo writing_princess16