Silence (A Dramione Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

Draco's POV

The remains of the Howler was still smoking in his hand, the black ashes fine and powdery. The words echoed in his ears. You will never be good enough. It is all your fault. Narcissa could be dead because of you. You have never been the son she wanted, she deserved.

The worst thing about it was that it was all true. He wasn't good enough and his mother had deserved a better son. So did Hermione. He pushed her out of his head. What was he doing? He wasn't allowed to think about her. He thought again of his mother. It was all his fault. And whether or not it made him a weak person, he couldn't live with it. Not any longer.

Blaise looked over to Draco with a worried expression on his face.

"Mate..I'm really sorry"

Blaise was obviously lost for words and Draco really couldn't handle it anymore. He got up abruptly, still looking down at the remains of the Howler, not bothering to excuse himself from the other Slytherins who were all staring at him.

"Where are you going?" Blaise said, looking extremely upset.

"I'm just going to have some... alone time."

"Do you wanna talk about i-"

"No." Draco said harshly. Blaise immediately bowed his head, like Draco had the power to reprimand him. Not typical Blaise Zabini behaviour. Not typical Slytherin behaviour either.

"Oh, OK. Fine. I understand. But just to let you know I'm here if you need me," Blaise replied, looking up to meet Draco's gaze.

"Yeah..."

*****

Draco walked out of the common room not daring to meet anyone's eye and undid the top button of his shirt and loosened his tie. He had been so proud when he first got it... Now it just represented all that he had lost. He needed to calm down. As he turned left through the familiar corridors of Hogwarts, all he could hear was his own heartbeat, louder than anything he had heard before. Everyone in the castle could probably hear him. That made it beat faster. He liked going unnoticed, though that never really happened much. He turned right and opened a door in which a narrow, spindly staircase spiralled up towards what seemed like forever.

Draco gazed upwards, trying to find where it ended. Then he yanked of his robes, so he was just standing in his trousers and shirt, his tie dangling loose around his neck. Without pausing for thought, Draco started climbing the stairs two steps at a time. He reached up and tugged at his hair with his right hand, while his left traced the bannisters. At the top of the staircase, there was an ancient oakwood door with iron hinges. Near the top there was an iron plaque that said 'Astronomy Tower' in a cursive font. Draco pulled his wand out of his back pocket and whispered "Alohomora". There was a tiny click as the lock caught, then he pushed on the handle and the door swung open.

He slowly walked into the dark room and closed the door behind him. The only noise he could hear was his own breath as he felt the airy wind run past him. Draco looked around the circular room, then the ancient artefacts that were used to study the moon and sky. He took a sharp intake of breath before walking forwards towards the stone balcony.

The night was black, blacker than pitch up on the astronomy tower. The floor was just a dull grey and the other towers were just smoke in the darkness. He could barely see the lake. There was a lonely howl from the Forbidden Forest. Werewolf? Or something else? He stared upwards. The clouds covered the sky, blanketing the moon. A great expanse of darkness, of forever. The moon struggled free from the black mass of clouds for a few seconds.

It was peaceful. Quiet. No more noise from the Forest. No sound from anywhere. Everything was still. No more noise. Not now. Not ever. His mind, curse it, fluttered to soft brown eyes, bell-like laughter and chocolate coloured curls. No. He looked up once more and said his final goodbye. Then he took a deep breath and stepped off.