Sunset Love

Never

It's been a week since Jeremy's death, and summer is almost over meaning that school is about to start, but I'm not ready for school, not after what happened. I thought I've already eradicated my demons, but they were just waiting for the right moment to strike. When I was weak and hurt. I guess now I'm at rock bottom again.

"Hey Liam, you alright?" Jonah came into the room to check up on me. 

I didn't reply him. I just sat there and looked up at him with an emotionless face.

"Look, I know what happened. I can't possibly relate to it because I wasn't close to Jeremy but, we have to move on. Sulking here won't bring him back."

"I could've saved him, Jonah. I could've prevented all this, but I was too weak. I just sat there like an idiot and now he's gone. He's never coming back. I'm such an idiot!"

"Hey! Liam, look at me. Do you think that is what Jeremy would want you to do? To beat yourself down? No. He saved you, and when people save others, it's because they want them to live on, to be happy. That's why he saved you, Liam. Don't make his death be in vain."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about what Jonah said. Part of me wants to move on but another part is just full of regret and Jeremy's death will keep on replaying in my head. 

"Alright, I will try to move on but it won't be that easy and quick."

"Don't worry. I'll be here to support you."

Jonah wrapped his arms around me to comfort me but I don't think anything will comfort me at this point.

A week went by and summer ended which meant that it was the start of a new school year. While walking down the hall I see students catching up with their friends on what fun things they did during the vacation while I'm here still thinking about what happened during my vacation. Then, I heard people whispering about Jeremy. They were talking about what happened to him and after that, eyes were glued onto me. They heard the entire story and I'm hoping they don't see me the way I see myself, weak. 

"Liam, wait up!" Jonah yelled from across the hall. He ran up to me to walk me to class. Our first period was Math which usually I would be excited for. After all, it is my favourite subject, but I couldn't even bother to smile. We went to our seats, sat down and took out our books to start the day. Throughout the lesson, I just couldn't stop thinking about Jeremy. I killed him. I'm the cause of his death. It was all me. I tuned out everyone around me and could only hear my thoughts. The dark thoughts that filled my head with hatred for myself. This made me feel physically cold for some reason and I started shivering. Maybe because now my heart was just cold and empty, nothing inside, not even Jonah.

"Liam, you're shivering. Here, take my jacket."

He wrapped his jacket and told me, "Tell me if you're feeling cold next time. I don't want you to fall sick or something. Promise?"

"Promise"

With that, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and continued to listen to our teacher. 

This brought back memories of the last school year before summer. When all this started. Before meeting Jax, before Jeremy's death, before our first kiss. Times were simpler, and I don't think it would have led up to this if I hadn't got closer to Jonah. Though, I don't regret meeting Jonah at all. I love him too much to even think about a life without him. Without him, I don't think I would've even gotten closer to Jeremy again. I felt that maybe the world brought Jonah to me for a reason and that reason was for me to love life again. Before Jonah, I was on the road to suicide but now that I have Jonah, the demons are weak and harmless. I've never been so happy in my life. Now, I have to spend more time with the people I still have, to make every second count.

"Liam, you alright? You kinda spaced out a little"

I snapped out of my daze, turned to look at him, and embraced him like I've never done to anyone before.

"Umm... Liam? What's this for?"

"Shh! Just let me hug you!"

He smiled and I felt contented again. Jeremy, you knew about my depression but now, I hope you're proud of me that I finally managed to rid them from my mind, that I'm strong again. I won't let you down, not again!

The bell rang and we packed up to get ready to leave. While walking through the hall, this girl just came up to Jonah. She had really long hair and she was not flat let me just tell you, but she had this face that I felt like punching until she bled.

"Hey, handsome! Wanna go have lunch?"

I was just shocked. Lost for words. I know this girl. She is the one that dated so many guys yet broke up with each one after a week of dating. After thinking of that, I realised, this slut is trying to steal Jonah away from me.

"Hi. I'm sorry but, I have to get home and help Liam with some work. He didn't really pay much attention in today's..."

"Shut up! You'd rather spend time with a loser like him rather than a hot chick like me?"

"I'm sorry but, yes I do rather spend time with this fine guy rather than you"

Woah, I didn't know Jonah could be this shady. After that we walked off, leaving that bitch behind. I looked back, her face giving me that disgusted look before going back to her friends.

After we got home, Jonah started to teach me all the things I missed out on today's lesson. I needed to catch up. 

"So if you want to go from A to B, you must first travel from A to E, then E to B. This one might be tricky but if you get the hang of it, it will be super easy."

"Thanks, Jonah. You really know your math. Glad to have a roomie like you! Well, we should probably get ready for bed. It's getting late."

He undressed while I got into my onesie, but before we got onto our own beds, I asked Jonah, "Jonah... can I... sleep on your bed with you for tonight? I'm scared of getting cold during the night, especially after just now."

"Sure, come on, get on over here"

I walked to him and layed on his bed. His bicep acted as a pillow for me and I snuggled up against him. He felt warm, something that I needed for the hole in my heart. I looked up at him, his deep blue eyes looking at me with care and concern, I looked back down, put my left arm over his chiselled abs, closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was the most peace I ever had in years after I first had depression. I really hope no one steals Jonah away from me. I will never let him leave me... never.