𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (Completed)

26. W A L K I N G D I S E A S E

(Felt motivated to include Adrien's thoughts only in this chapter ❤️)

ADRIEN'S   P.O.V

"I am sorry Mr. Ribeiro. There is nothing we can do." My ears go deaf, my heart is pounding erratically against my chest. I get up slamming my palms on the table.

"What do you mean there is nothing you can do?!" My voice is frantic, my stomach plunges with denial, I refuse to accept this. "Mr. Ribeiro," The doctor's eyes largen with empathy. "Please sit down." I ignore him, balling my fists. I walk out of the hospital room as he calls after me. I don't want to spare another hour, listening to what he has to say.

I don't need him to rub it in. I already know I have one more year remaining. One more fucking year. One more fucking year before I die. My family never suffered from any sort of illnesses, except for typhoid and traces of pneumonia. Since my childhood, my parents made it a point to eat carefully, paying close attention to what we put in our bodies.

I never knew what a doughnut tasted like. My food intake was limited. After one helping, my stomach was full. I kept myself hydrated at all times, worked out regularly to break a sweat both- morning as well as in the evenings. Until I started experiencing pains in my chest, coughing up blood non-stop on a regular basis, I knew something wasn't right.

"I don't know how to tell you this," The Doctor said removing his glasses and rubbing his eyebrows. I wasn't prepared for what I had to hear next. "You have a tumor, in which the cells in the tissues of your lung, are not controlled."

My mother gasps. "H-how is that even possible?" She asked, desperate for hope.
"My son is a healthy eighteen year old and w"-

"Mrs. Ribeiro, I understand"-

"No, you don't!" I angrily shot up from the chair, pointing a finger at him. "Don't bother saying it," I hiss, grabbing his collar. From then on, it became convenient to turn my anger into pain.

My social life had gone for a toss. I shut people out, my parents forced themselves to act normal, they were doing it for my sake. I was too exhausted to question them. Too angry to argue with them or anyone for that matter.

I stare at my reflection, tracing my hands on the scar, situated on either side of my chest. There will be no next year as that is when I won't be standing here in my room, cursing at myself. I have been living in denial for so long, I can't continue going on like this. I don't have a wish. I do something I shouldn't be doing, fully aware of the consequences I'll have to face later.

I light up kissing my lungs goodbye.

I watch the smoke form thick, grey clouds. It is better to burn than to fade away. Memories of my new intern castigate me, as I stand in my apartment staring out the window. I hark back the day we first met, taking another hit.

I glanced at my watch, flipping through the stack of applications with a frown etched on my face. "She better be worth my time," I grunt, pouring a glass of water from the jug. I had seen enough and I had enough of my patience.
I saw from the transparency of the window as Glenda walked in with a young girl by her side, I didn't look back. There were no words to describe how wondrous she looked. Slim with curves in the right places, legs that went on for days, the dress she wore fit her perfectly it complimented the tone of her skin.

The neckline of her top exposed a little cleavage, I thrived not to catch sight of how well rounded her breasts were. They weren't too big, nor too small. They were enough to clasp your palms around them, I mentally got myself in the crotch. Her eyes were a scornful blue with hints of grey, long luscious locks splayed on both sides of her breasts.

This needs to stop.

I feel terrible about the way I spoke to her. I feel like a dick for treating her like shit, she doesn't deserve it. Ivy has been nothing but extra hard-working, I felt something explode in me whenever I caught glimpses of her while she worked. I knew I made the right decision when I hired Ivy to be a valuable asset for my company. I wonder why she doesn't give herself a break in comparison to other college-going students.

I finish the remaining of my cigarette, tossing it into the bin. My lips twist at the sight of her cheeks, going pink whenever I want to talk. I ended up being livid at her for no reason, she has the same effect on me. I wanted Ivy in my arms, exploring her elegance.

My fists collide against the glass, wishing it would break. I can't have her, I probably never will. Not only will it get in the middle of our professionalism, be it any woman. What's done is done. Disregarding the jealousy, I know she doesn't deserve me. I don't deserve her.

It's time I come to terms with this fucking cliche of liking someone but you can't have them because they are not bloody attracted to you. I shouldn't be. I have to want this barrier I have built. Even if we did end up together, she won't be able to handle life if I'm not in the picture. Ivy shouldn't go through that pain.

It is pointless to keep on trying.

My name is Adrien Ribeiro and I am a walking disease.