Chasing Fate (Sentinel & Guide)

Chapter 71

The memories had been in bits and pieces for a few days, blurred glimpses that Anton couldn't make much sense of. The sound of the flourescent lighting, the antiseptic smell of the interview room, a soft voice that he couldn't quite place. Anton belatedly realized he'd been having these slight memories ever since he first met Fate face to face. Even before she'd mentioned his "maiden" name. 

Since the first time they'd met he'd felt the sense of familiarity with her, moreso than the congeniality of most guides he simply felt like he'd met her before. As they spent more time around each other, snippets of memories passed through his mind, but he didn't put any real thought to them. It was like a book buried in the sand, barely noticeable until you kicked it and it tumbled free. 

The kick had been hearing his old name, and seeing those haunted eyes once more. 

Many things about Fate had changed. She hadn't actually grown taller but he'd never met her standing up. She'd gained a considerable amount of weight, going from malnourished to comfortably sized in a body that seemed to suit her far more. And most noticeably, she had hair and was dressed appropriately for the warm climate, even if her arms were constantly covered. 

If she hadn't said anything, he'd never have put two and two together. 

He then remembered that this was also on purpose. The reason Fate went into a coma was the same reason he had an ear-splitting headache until just that moment. There was no such thing as forcibly erasing memories, even if you're the most powerful guide in known history. Traumatic memories are one of the stickiest parts of the human psyche. It was easier to forget math or language than to forget the face of a robber, or the color of the car that hit you in the street. 

Of course the details may fade with time, but the feelings remained, and influenced the entire psyche. Traumatic events change people down to the core of their personality, and because of this, guides simply couldn't affect memories, not permanently. They could only manipulate the surroundings, and cover them up with a bit of subterfuge. 

Trauma responding guides did this often, softening the details around a memory until it did not hold as much of a immediate importance to the victim. Still, this took a massivley powerful guide to even attempt, and the results only lasted for a few hours, days at most. When such a thing was done to other guides, they often complained of severe  headaches right before their mind cleared and they remembered. Because of this, memory repression tactics were generally avoided for guides, out of concern for their health. 

But Anton had his memories repressed for five entire years. Without the solidity of his bond with Emma he would probably have ended up in the hospital as well. Five years of a solid, complete bond meant that she took on half of his pain without even thinking about it, making him twice as emotionally stable. 

Thinking back to that time before , most of his mind thought of his wedding and all the chaos of a cross-country promotion. The issue with Fate simply slipped away as another day at the office, not even as funny or interesting as his going-away party . 

But how could he ever truly forget such a once-in-a-lifetime case? He realized he still had a twist in his stomach when he saw a black woman with a bald head, or how his neck grew cold with anger after seeing a too-thin woman in a grey sweatshirt. Or how the sight of dampening helmets made him suddenly ill.  His deep psyche still remembered the upset and rage he felt on behalf of Fate in that interview, even if he couldn't remember who he was upset for. 

But now he remembered with absolute clarity. 

"Officer Fisk, what you're going to write down and what I'm going to say are not the same." 

He didn't even acknowledge the command, simply taking it as fact. Fate's thrall was so strong and so fast that he didnt realize it had been set. It felt completely natural to just do as the young woman said.  

He felt his hand moving, writing something as he listened to her statement. Looking over it later he wouldn't find any mistakes, but now he realized how much had been omitted. 

"My real name was Linnette Dorsey, but now there's a grave for her, and buried with it are all my records. They erased me." 

"Who erased you," Anton remembered asking, but couldn't remember saying it out loud. 

"The NOGS of course. They erased every guide that He took. I'm the only one who survived long enough. Most only lasted a few months. He was quite strong. Sometimes he even had two or three guides at a time." 

"But you're stronger, so he only had you? Then why did the NOGS erase you?" The fact that they could even do such a thing was ripping Anton's entire worldview apart, but more importantly he needed to know the reason.  

"If they didn't, their cover would be blown. The National Organization of Guides and Sentinels is only a front. They let good people like you take care of the public relations while they doggedly pursue their own goals.  

"I can't pretend to know what those goals are. There was no direct contact between him and his work. May have been a mercenary, may have been on the payroll. I just know we moved a lot, went a lot of places, a lot of countries....There was a lot of well, everything really. Illegal trade, trafficking, organized crime, espionage, murder, terrorism. He helped out a lot of bad, bad people. Nulls and Sentinel alike. " 

"Did you witness this first hand?"

"No, not often. Only when he wanted to show off..."the young woman's face clouded,"Or when he wanted a kill to be truly silent." 

"How many?"

"I was present for twelve of his...executions."she let out a shuddering breath, "I don't know who the people he killed were, or where we were other than the language they spoke." 

"It was traumatic, it's normal to repress those memories, but do you remember anything at all? I can't help without the full picture." 

"You won't be able to help after our time is up. You'll forget this, and when the NOGS takes me into custody, they're going to try to kill me, so the secret stays secret." 

Anton's face must have shown disbelief, because she let out a bark of a laugh. 

"We don't have the luxury of time here. I can't tell you nine years of hell in a day. But I can tell you this Officer Fisk: 

"The idea that guides and sentinels must stay bonded to live, is a lie. The idea that guides need to go to finishing school to control their powers, is a lie. The idea that guides are weak and unable to protect themselves, is a lie. The idea that rogue alphas are just natural outliers, is a lie. The scary Traditionalists that steal guides in the night are a lie. Everything that's propping that agency up, everything that keeps the public docile and bending to their will is nothing but lies, lies, lies. And I have proof against each one. That's dangerous, more dangerous than Him. 

"Maybe they're glad he's dead, so they didn't send anyone after me...Or maybe they're scared. After all, I fried Pace Bixby, the strongest alpha prime in their rogue clan." 

"Rogue Clan?"

"Where else would you find a sentinel with no history? No social, no dental records, no traffic tickets. If you look for him, Pace Bixby from the freestate near Redemption, Ohio simply doesn't exist. Linnette Dorsey doesn't exist. Bernard Goldberg, Manuel James, Tyra Kemp....If you dig deep enough, they just don't exist. " 

"But you're here now, Linnette" 

The young woman scrunched up her face, "No. No, Linnette Dorsey died when she was fourteen. She thought she was having a lark sneaking out to a concert with friends from the Blair Ellison school. A traditionalist trafficker abducted her, but the strain was too much. A body matching Linnette's description was found in a bag in the river by the end of the month. She was buried with her null parents who died in a car accident two years prior, in a private  null cemetary.

Anton Nodded, "So then who is here with me now? It must be fate that you're alive, after all you've gone through. I'm not even sure the half of it, you've blown my mind a bit here Kid. At the least you deserve to acknowledge you survived."  

The guide formerly known as Linnette looked up at the ceiling, thinking a bit, "Fate huh? I like the sound of that."