Never with Me (Book 1)

[3]: Downward Spiral

A/N: I have decided to add some dialogue as Damien.  This will not always occur within this book, but I feel as it will help you as the reader, understand him and the story more.  Anyways.  Here goes nothing.

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[Damien's POV]

        I woke up feeling her body next to me, lending me her warmth as our nude limbs were entangled.  How many mornings had I woken up like this?  Her legs over mine, my legs over hers, her head resting on my chest, or my head resting upon her bosom.   How many nights had we fallen into bed, loving each other with our bodies and falling asleep both sated and satisfied? For four of the five years we had been together, I had awoken or gone to sleep to the same scenario, over and over.  Never tiring of it.  But in the last two years, along with the happiness, there was a lingering sense of guilt that had taken residence deep in my subconscious.  There were times in the last two years, as I made love to Rachel, that Leilani's face flashed through my mind.  Though rare, they happened, and made me feel such bone deep guilt for my imagined betrayal on Rachel.

        Then of course there were the times I was alone in my office, with my thoughts as my only companion.  Rachel off for the day, visiting her parents or friends.  During those times, the guilt would become overwhelming.  It was when it was quiet, that the power of the mate bond allowed Leilani to seep into my thoughts.  Becoming my secret obsession.  It made me livid, that I could not control my thoughts, that the Moon Goddess had tried to take my chosen future away from me.  I had chosen Rachel, and that was it.  Not that there was anything wrong with Leilani.  She had grown into a beautiful self-possessed woman.  One that any Lycan would be worthy of, and had I never met Rachel, I would've been proud to have by my side.  But my chosen fate had intervened, and Rachel had arrived in my life.  I could never, and would never regret my decision.  But I did regret having to hurt Leilani.  She had never done anything wrong, and deserved to be loved.  And I hope she will find herself a Lycan whom has lost their mate, or a human to give her the love I couldn't.  She was beautiful and destined for greatness, and I knew one day she would find the same happiness that I had with Rachel. 

        I still remember the day Rachel came waltzing into my life like a sprite from the forest.  I had watched her unfold her small legs from the back seat of her parents' car when they had arrived the year I turned 16, and my father began grooming me as the future Alpha. Her long silver blonde hair shined brightly in the sun, and her eyes as blue as the ocean.  She had been 16 as well at the time, and had lost her destined mate along with countless other packmates to a rogue attack months prior to her family's arrival and acceptance into the Moon Meadow Pack. I had instantly fallen in love with her aurora and loving nature.  Her history, and the terrible events she had endured instinctually caused me to become protective of her.  It was then, I had fallen in love for the first time in my life.  She held me enthralled from the moment I set my eyes on her, until this very day. We began our romance then, and our love blossomed and fluorished as the years passed.  There was not a day that I questioned my love for her.  Not a day that I thanked her for choosing me.

        I felt Rachel stirring to life beside me, and I peered down at her face.  I saw as her lips twitched upwards into a small smile.  Her eyes slowly opening and peering back at mine.  I got lost in the blue of her eyes, and smiled down in return.

"Morning love." She said, as she stretched like a contented kitten.
"Morning to you, my heart. Did you sleep well?"
"Very well, for the time you allowed me to sleep."  She stated with a sly smile resting on her lips.