call it what you want • narry storan AU

eighteen: harry

"Could you sing to me?" Niall suddenly asks me, after we finish our dinner at the karaoke's restaurant. "It's been a long time since you did it."

"I literally sing in the shower every night, honey", I say, sipping on the rest of the milkshake on my cup.

He smirks a bit, turning his attention to his own shoes instead of me, cheeks blushing a bit. Again.

"What, honey?" I call him one more time, knowing exactly what to do to tease him.

"You called me 'honey'", he simply says, surprising me off-guard.

Okay, I really called him 'honey'. I did it now. Harold, control yourself. You're diving too fast on this sea. He's only calling you derivative names of your own. Control yourself. It's too dangerous to dive alone. 

Shut up. Speak now. Wait. Go. 

What a wonderful doubt.

"And aren't you?" The words slip out of me before I can think twice about it.

He's smiling again. Thank God. Not going to die tonight.

"If you say so", he shrugs, getting closer to me and making me feel his breath on my face. "But I don't think I am."

"You're so cute. I think I could scream it right now."

"Please don't. Just kiss me."

And that's what I do. I kiss him, for so long that he needs to break the moment to take his own breath in line. I grin at this; he's the cutest at the best moments.

"Enjoying the view?" He asks.

"I'll never get tired of this."

☸☸☸☸

"So this is it? Is that how we're going to end, Harry?" I hear him screaming out loud. The doors are closed, and so are the windows, or else everyone would see how pissed Louis is now.

"This is how we should have ended years ago, but I was such a stupid man to admit it was needed", I answer to him, trying to reach the same berated voice tone as his while I try to cope with the tears streaming down my face. "And don't come with all that 'you'll never find someone to love' bullshit you always tell me!"

"What, you think I'm gonna lie to make you feel better?" 

"I'm fuckin' sure there's someone out there better than you, who isn't toxic, manipulative, selfish and a bad dick sucker than you."

Okay. The last part is the low point of the story.

Louis glances at me, walking to my direction, his eyes telling me he's willing to do anything to shut my mouth. I don't want him to kiss me, to beat me like before - like he already did multiple times when he was clearly trying to make me stay shut about these topics. I don't want him to touch me anymore. Life has been teaching me in the hard way that I'm better than this, I'm better than how I've been treated by him. I want him to know this is the end.

And, at the same time, I want to run. So fast that he will barely find me. Or never find me anyway.

Before his hands find my neck, I come back to my own senses.

"If only you could love someone better, Lou", I say, almost muttering to his face, "if only you could be a better man... maybe we wouldn't end like this. It all would be so peaceful. But you lost me when you thought this was a shitty war that you had to win. I'm not a trophy, you don't win me. You earn me. And you didn't this time."

His eyes are wide open now. Louis opens his mouth multiple times like he's about to say something, but nothing comes out from his lips. His hands are still in position to choke me, but I'm still looking straight back to his eyes, waiting for a reaction of his.

"You can kill me if you want, Louis", I feel my whole body shiver in fear for these words I'm saying. But I don't care anymore. "But you'll never be able to love me 'cause we're not made for each other. There's someone else for you, and someone else for me. But I'm not the one for you, neither you're the one for me. Once you get it, you'll live better."

"Shit!" I shout, once I sit in the king-sized bed, my face covered in sweat because of the memory coming back to my head one more time. 

"Harry?" Niall suddenly appears in the bedroom, dressed only in his sweatpants. "What happened?"

My whole body feels like it's been on fire for the past ten minutes and I don't know how to react about this. I stare at Niall, and soon he runs to the bed, letting me rest my head above his thighs. Finally the tears that I've been waiting come out of my eyes, and I let myself cry out loud.

"It's okay, Haz, I'm here for you", he whispers to me, curling his fingers in my hair. "I'm here. No one's gonna hurt you, I won't let them do it to you. Focus on my voice. No ghosts here, no motherfuckers coming to fuck you again. They're not here. They're not here. You're okay, I'm with you, I'll always be with you, you know it so well..."

It takes a couple of minutes for me to stop crying and sit back on the bed. Niall is still with a shocked expression on his face, like he doesn't know what just happened. Of course he doesn't, you idiot.

"Sleep with me tonight? Please? That's all I ask, Ni."

"Of course, babe", he gently says. "Let's cuddle."

As soon as we're cuddled in the bed, Niall being the big spoon, I feel better. I hate when memories related to Louis come to haunt me in my dreams - it makes me feel powerless every time I'm thrown into them again.

"You wanna talk about it?" Niall asks, his voice still sounding like a whisper to my ears.

"In the morning."

"Okay. Rest well, you're not alone."

For five seconds I try to think about the fact that we've been sleeping in separate rooms because I told us so, because I didn't want to ruin his privacy so soon at this point of the relationship. For another five seconds I feel better that he's cuddling me now, because his snores are in fact like an ASMR to me - but don't tell him that.

And don't tell him that I love him for making me feel better like this.