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9 | Fate of the Burning Fire

Critic: maysique
Author: wallflowermiming
Demand:

Message: Hi! First of all, hindi po ako professional critic/reviewer. Kung ano mang mababasa mo sa ibaba ay base na sa aking research at stocked knowledge lol. I don't sugarcoat whatever you're about to read. Take time to read everything. Hanggang Chapter 8 lang ang nabasa ko. Pakisabi na lang sa baba kung 'di sulit ang bayad. De, biro lang. Baka may typo kang makita, sana 'wag na lang pansinin hehe.

⚜Book Cover⚜

I love the book cover. The color emphasizes even more the word 'Fire' in the title. Na-hook agad ako rito dahil mabenta at maganda ang pagkakagawa. Though I am no pro in art, but as always, it is recommended to use only two different fonts.

⚜Title⚜

First Impression:

Confusing sa akin kung ano o sino ang tinutukoy na Burning Fire. Pwedeng figures of speech, pwedeng hindi. But one thing's for sure: redundant ang 'Burning Fire'. Fire, automatic nag-aapoy/nasusunog 'yan. Bakit may burning pa? Paki-explain po, thank you.

After Reading:

Pilit kong iniisip kung saan ba talaga nanggaling ang title. Nabasa ko na ang walong kabanata pero hindi ko pa rin siya maikonekta. Pero ang nasa isip ko na lang, maaring fate ni Seraphine ang tinutukoy mo.

Correction/Suggestion/Recommendation (CSR):

The title totally fits the cover. However, based on general rules I learnt from research, you only capitalized words in title if it is a noun, pronoun, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. Capitalized din ang una at huling salita sa isang title.

Articles (a, an, the), coordinating conjunctions (fewer than five letters such as and, but, or, for, nor, etc) and prepositions (on, at, to, from, by, etc.) are generally not capitalized.

Recommended: Fate of the Burning Fire

Though redundant pa rin ang Burning Fire. It's up to you whether you want to consider what I have said about it. You can change it or not. It's your story to decide, not mine.

⚜Blurb/Story Description⚜

Sakto lang ang haba nito. Naroon 'yong curiosity habang binabasa ko iyon. Ano nga ba ang nine-tailed fox? Parang doon pa lang, masasabi na: ah, this is a fantasy. Kasi in reality, wala namang siyam na buntot ang isang fox.

Correction lang sa first line: ...Princess Seraphine is forced to marry a...

You can check it. Iba na kasi ang magiging meaning at mali na ang comstruction kung mananatili siyang: ...Princess Seraphine forced to marry a...

⚜Prologue⚜

Walang Prologue ang akda. Introduction lang ang meron pero nagmukha siyang synopsis at parang pinahaba lang ang nakalagay sa Blurb. Wala na akong sasabihin pa tungkol dito dahil wala ka naman nito.

⚜Narration⚜

Point of View and Medium:

Dalawa ang ginamit mong POV rito. Kay Seraphine at sa narrator. First person then turned into 3rd (omniscient) then back to first. Walang problema sa pagpapalit ng point of view, as long as every chapter (iyan talaga ang recommended).

Pero... sa Chapter Three kung saan nagpalit ka ng view from first to third, mas mabuting ilagay mo na lang na Third/3rd POV imbes na 'Narration'. As we all know, narration ang way ng pagsusulat natin ng nobela. Iba iyon sa POV. Suggestion ko rin na bawat chapter ay lagyan mo na lang kung kaninong POV iyon kahit pa kay Seraphine lang lahat ng first. Bakit? Kasi nagsu-switch ka from 1st to 3rd sa iba't ibang chapter (though hindi naman every chapter).