awae - i n s t a g r a m

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Hospitals are not Anne's preferred location to spend her time.

Anne has decided that hospitals are one of the most depressing places in the world. Although there is much scope for the imagination, it is the opposite type of imagination that usually fills her brain on a daily basis. This type of imagination is dark and terrifying. This type places an invisible weight on her shoulders.

She sat, plopped down in an uncomfortable plastic chair, leg bouncing, conveying her pure anxiety that bubbled within her mind, waiting to hear any news about Matthew. Marilla had gone down to get food for the worried pair, leaving Anne alone with her thoughts.

She caught herself imagining a world in which Matthew's warm hugs didn't greet her when she arrived home, a world without Matthew's gentle smile, encouraging her every step of the way. She imagined walking up the steps to green gables and not seeing Matthew humming happily by the fire, probably reading some old book Anne had suggested to him, through the window. Although she knew his departure from this earth was inevitable, this felt like far to soon.

The doctors had told them that this surgery would be very beneficial to his current state—if he could make it through the surgery itself.

His weakened heart and body caused much worry for such a complicated and intrusive surgery, but nonetheless it had to be done, or there was little to no chance of his survival.

Gilbert had come earlier to comfort Anne. He knew how much she needed him, as he was in the same position years prior, and had no one to hold him, or be strong for him. He wanted desperately to be that for Anne, and supply some sort of comfort to her during this awful waiting period.

Anne had spent many hours wrapped in his strong, yet soothing, embrace softly crying into his shoulder. He was her safe place, she couldn't understand how something so minor as merely just being there with her brought so much comfort to her aching heart. He rubbed he back in slow circles and stroked her hair softly,

"it's going to be okay" he whispered ever so sweetly

Anne lifted her head from his shoulder to bring her gaze to meet his, "What if it isn't"

"Then we'll get through it together. Remember, as long as I'm here, you're not going through anything alone. We can get through this, I promise anne-girl" he gave her a sad smile and kissed the top of her hair

She returned the melancholy smile and rested her head back on his chest, squeezing him closer to her "I love you gil, thank you."

"I love you carrots"

Gilbert held her close against him, he hugged her, continuing to whisper sweet reassurances in her ear, until an obviously cranky nurse came —much to his own frustration—and practically ripped him away from her mumbling something about 'visiting hours being over' .

He was not very enthusiastic about leaving Anne, and quite frankly was incredibly annoyed at the nurse who had the audacity to force him to leave.  He softly kissed Anne's cheek and said a quick "I love you" and "it's all going to be okay" before being cut off and escorted out of the hospital swiftly. He grumbled passive aggressive words to the nurse as they walked towards the exit, and decided whoever this nurse was, he didn't like her.

Alone. Anne was alone. Matthew's surgery was expected to go another hour at least so she laid down across three chairs and stared at the ceiling.

The hospital had commissioned an artist to  come and paint a mural on the ceiling for guest waiting for their loved ones, Anne thought the idea to be a very kind and beautiful way of acknowledging the hurt that anyone in the room inevitably felt.

Painted delicately on the ceiling was a human skeleton, with some of its major organs, such as a heart, brain, lungs etc, but within the organs  were beautiful flowers and greenery sprouting generously from them. Butterflies were depicted floating around, landing on flowers gracefully, their lovely wings a bright array of stunning colors all flowing together so perfectly.

Behind the skeleton in the mural was a wide night sky, bursting with stars and constellations. Anne thought that this painting was incredible, and assumed the painter to be a kindred spirit.
The more and more she investigated the painting from her position laying across the chairs, the more she got lost in the pure-ness of it. The way even the skeleton— which was a symbol of death and tragedy— was oozing life, and the way the butterflies flew harmoniously through it. It was all so beautiful. Anne found herself dozing off slightly as the emotional exhaustion from the day hit her body like a bus. Letting her eyes fall to a close, she spoke out one last wish to the stars,

Don't let Matthew leave me

A/N I was going to put this all in one chapter, but this seemed like a good place to end for now. So, part two coming soon!!

Sorry if this feels rushed, I wanted to get it out before the day was over!

Also thank you sooo much for 19k reads!! That's incredible!! 🥺🎉😚