without you~ teen titans

1 ✡︎ The One

Beast Boy
"You think you're alone Raven. But your not."

A moment of deadly silence passed.

He wasn't even sure if Raven would respond.

Then, her door slid open. Before he could react, she walked out and wrapped her arms around him.

Beast Boy didn't know how to react. He gently pushed her away, blushing profusely.

"Uhh," was all he could manage to say to her, before a loud booming voice echoed through the halls, proceeding with a rather horribly smelling stankball being thrown into his face.

Raven smiled a devilish smile and let out a laugh as she lifted the wad of stink with her magic.

Beast Boy relived the moment in his head as he lay on his bed a few years later.
Why was he even thinking about this? They'd been through so much together after that memory yet it was still rooted in his brain like gum that couldn't be cut out.

What did it even mean? Had he said something stupid? He hopped off his bed anxiously and started pacing back and forth.

If he wanted answers, he should probably just talk to Raven.

Talk to Raven.

TALK TO RAVEN??? The task seemed impossible. Raven wasn't a very "talkative" person.

Let alone a hugging one.

Besides, this had been more than a year ago! It would be weird to bring it up again.
He only thought about it every once in a while, but when he did it always sent his mind into an endless circle of questions.

He didn't have feelings for her... at least not like that. Over the past year or so, they had gotten a lot closer, confiding in each other in their darkest moments or whenever they felt most alone.

Raven was his best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. The only girl he had ever loved was Terra.

And she was gone.

"You promised you'd be my friend no matter what remember?"

"Slade was right. You don't have any friends."

"UGH" Beast Boy yelled, punching the wall furiously.
He wiped the loose tears that had started to spring out of his eyes.
Why would he ever say that to her? Why did she have to go? Why couldn't she remember him? WHY????

The thoughts jumbled in his head. Terra was a hero. Why would she want to forget that?
He didn't understand.

After so many months of waiting, hoping she'd come back... he just wanted to get over her once and for all.

He just... couldn't.

He needed to talk to someone. Someone who would listen.

He stood up and gently opened the door to his room.
The hallway had never looked so dark.

Beast Boy mustered as much confidence as he had inside of him, and he walked down the hallway to Ravens room, his soundless footsteps giving the eerie feeling of aloneness to the tower.

Raven
Space.
Alone.
Peace.

Letting all thoughts pass her mind, Raven sat, meditating alone in her room. 
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..." she whispered.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos..."

Raven repeated the words slowly, letting herself fall into her minds eternal darkness.

Others would say it was a dark feeling.
A scary feeling.
But she found it as a safe haven.

A place where she felt truly safe and protected.

Even though it was lonely. There was no one to talk to inside her mind.

Despite having friends she could trust, and who she cared about, she never felt confident enough to tell them about the darkness inside of her.

"We get it Raven you're a dark person who has unexplainable darkness inside blah blah blah," something in her mind seethed.

Raven sighed at her loss of concentration.
"Azarath Metrion- "

"Raven?"

Raven was so startled she almost fell to the ground.
There was a knock at her door. "It's me, Beast Boy. Can... I come in?"

Raven slowly lowered herself to the ground, but made no effort to get up. "Yes?" She replied, regaining her calmness.

She heard him come in, but didn't open her eyes. She felt him sit down next to her gently.

There was a moment of silence as neither of them really knew what to say.

Eventually, Raven gave in and opened her eyes.
He looked... unsettled. "Everything ok?" She asked, hiding the concern she felt.

"Well, no not really." He said looking away. "I feel so alone sometimes Raven. Sometimes, even being surrounded by people I care about..." He looked away. "I just-"

"You still find a way to feel alone?" Raven finished, she too looking away.

"Yeah."

Raven looked up and met his eyes, unspoken words lingering in the air around them. "Me too."

"Raven?" Beast Boy asked timidly.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever wonder... why Terra can't remember us?"

Terra.

The name sent anger pulsing down her spine. She remembered the betrayal clear as day and how mad she had felt. Deep down, she had thought Terra could be their friend.

Her friend.

She had trusted her.

And Terra had thrown it all away.

Beast Boy sensed her change in emotion and he fidgeted nervously. "I'm sorry I just-"

"No. I understand. Terra was a close friend to you, and to the rest of us. Her forgetting who you are must be a horrible feeling for you."

Raven calmed her boiling anger down. Terra had saved them. She had sacrificed herself. She couldn't hate her for that.

"I don't think she truly forgot us," Beast Boy said softly.

"What makes you say that?" Raven asked locking her dark purple eyes with his.

"Because... Slade doesn't lie. He's evil to the core, and I hate him with all my heart, but he doesn't lie. I think Terra... didn't want to remember us. I don't know why she didn't want to remember but... I think she's still in there."

Raven looked into his eyes. With all the annoyingness and immaturity she had seen within him for months... something had changed.

He wasn't just a little boy anymore. In his eyes... she saw all the pain he had held within him.

All the anger he had yet to unleash.

"Beast Boy..." She whispered. She waited for him to meet her eyes before finishing.

"It's going to get better. I promise."

He smiled a sad smile. "I hope so Raven."

They sat in agreed silence, neither of them realizing how late it had gotten until the moonlight cascaded around the room in little beams of light.