summer in the city 「 s.stan 」

DAY 18

— AUGUST 18TH —

When Sebastian opened his eyes to see you still curled up like a kitten in his lap, it finally brought him to his senses. Reality check.

He couldn't let this go on any longer. The awkwardness, the tiptoeing around each other after spending the night together – it was too much. With little more than ten days left, he needed to sort things out.

It would hurt either way, after all.

Not wanting to waste another second, he glanced at the clock before deciding to gently shake you awake. It was midday – you always seemed to sleep better when you were with him. Maybe because his embrace made you feel safe.

When you opened your eyes, you groaned sleepily and snuggled further into Sebastian's lap. However, before you could fall back into a peaceful slumber, he shook you again.

"What?" you mumbled impolitely, slightly irritated that he kept disturbing you. He simply laughed quietly as you reluctantly rolled over and sat up, frowning at him.

"I need to talk to you," he spoke after you'd gained your bearings, his seriousness returning. Suddenly, you felt self conscious; you smoothed down your hair and blinked hard as you retreated to the opposite end of the couch.

Honestly, you were preparing to be friend zoned again. It was what happened regularly now – after any display of affection from Sebastian, he seemed to back off, as if he was running from the inevitable.

And all you could do each time was brace yourself for the impending rejection.

"Y/N, I think I'm falling in love with you."

You scoffed, incredulous – you couldn't help it. You should've been happy, but how could that be possible when Sebastian had given you more mixed signals than a faulty traffic light?

"I know, I know," he grimaced, seeming to read your thoughts, "I owe you an explanation. Again. And this time, I promise to be completely honest."

He shifted position slightly while you waited for him to continue. You noticed that he was trembling a little, so you reached over and placed your hand over his, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles soothingly. He visibly calmed down at your touch and, after taking a deep breath, began to speak again.

"The day after my birthday, I told you that I didn't want to celebrate it without you. And I said... I said that I had something planned for that day, remember? But I couldn't bring myself to tell you."

You nodded, recalling the conversation. You'd wanted to know exactly what those plans were but, after the fallout from the whole Margarita problem, you didn't want to stress Sebastian out anymore.

"Well, my plan was to just... to sit you down and tell you that asking to just be friends? It was the biggest mistake of my life, Y/N. Because I-I need you. I know I keep pushing you away and I'm sorry, I really... I can't get over the fact that you're leaving soon. And even now, I don't know how this will work or what will happen when you're gone, but I don't want to wait any longer. I can't afford to wait any longer, because... because I'll lose you."

Your harsh, judgemental eyes softened as Sebastian gazed at you, a stray tear trailing down his face. You wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe it away, but you restrained yourself. For now, anyway.

"You stopped our friends from telling me about your birthday," you reminded him instead. "Why?"

He smiled, flipping his hand over to lace his fingers with yours. "Because I didn't want anything else for my birthday. All I wanted was to fix things between us, but all I did was screw it up even more."

"Well..." you mused, a smile finding its way onto your own face, "I think things turned out okay..."

He looked hopeful – were you saying what he thought you were saying?

Could you be falling for him too?

You opened your mouth to finish your sentence, but suddenly the loud, obnoxious sound of your ringtone filled the room, making you both jump. You scrambled to answer it, leaving Sebastian to sigh. For today, at least, he'd lost you.

"Hello?" you answered as you held your phone up to your ear. The screen had displayed an unknown number, leading you to think that maybe it was somebody who didn't call often, like your boss back in San Francisco.

The only sound you were greeted with was crackling over the line, followed by quiet, steady breathing. "Hello?" you repeated, your eyebrows furrowing. "Can you hear me?"

Suddenly, the mystery caller hung up, leaving you thoroughly confused as you tossed your phone to the side with a shrug. You'd expected them to call back immediately – after all, maybe there was just a signal issue or something. But the room remained silent.

You glanced back over to the couch, wanting to resume the conversation. To tell Sebastian that you were falling in love with him too, that you had been practically since you met him. But he was gone.

The moment was gone.