The Endless Torment of an Admin (MCSM Fanfiction)

Chapter 3 - Beginning to Change

Tick, tick, tick, tick

It was the only sound in the room, the endless ticking of the clock on the wall. It was the only sound Jesse had to listened to for hours. A constant reminder that she hasn't had a wink of sleep.

Jesse was lying on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her brown eyes were wide open, completely adjusted to the dark as she silently traced the patterns on her wooden ceiling.

It was odd. Midnight had already come, and Jesse didn't feel remotely tired. Struggling to sleep wasn't anything new to her, in fact it's been days since Jesse last had a peaceful night's rest. But she usually suffered the consequences.

Why did she feel so... fine?

Jesse rolled over onto her side, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She had taken off her armour long ago and got into something more comfortable, but it hadn't really helped her. In fact, being able to see every inch of rosy skin on her arms and legs made it really hard to forget about what happened.

Recognising the faint red reflection against her bedsheets made Jesse close her eyes. She's realised that whenever her thoughts got too deep, her eyes began to emit a faint red glow. Jesse didn't know what to think of it, but she didn't like it. Her limbs felt all tingly, like she had bunch of pent up energy ready to explode.

Jesse's eyes slowly opened again. Energy or emotions?

I'm willing to listen, no matter what hour.

Hearing Petra's words replay in her head, Jesse glanced over at her bedroom door. Usually, she would go do just that. Her friends' support was the one thing that always helped Jesse, that always made her feel better. She's regretted every time she's rejected their comfort.

But something felt different that night. It was like talking to her friends in itself felt odd. Was it just the fact that they all looked at her differently?

Or was it because a part of the old Jesse was no longer there?

The reflection of the red glow in Jesse's eyes immediately brightened at the thought. She shook her head, sitting upright and rapidly combing her fingers through her unkept chestnut hair.

"I'm still me."

The words quivered, Jesse's voice sounding small and broken. But saying it out loud helped the speed of her racing heartbeat decrease by a fraction.

Deciding that being cooped up in her room wasn't helping her in the slightest, Jesse got up from the bed. Despite the chill in the air, she didn't feel the need to grab a jacket, simply walking to the door and stepping out into the dark hallway. For a moment, Jesse stood in the shadows, clueless about her next move. Her eyes subconsciously flickered over to Petra's bedroom door, which hung ajar – unusual, Petra probably thought it'd encourage Jesse to come talk to her.

Jesse genuinely wanted to, she wanted to let the flurry of emotions inside of her loose. But instead she found herself turning away from the warrior's room, silently walking down the stairs. She didn't like how inviting the dark, empty building was. Why was the loneliness and the shadows suddenly so appealing?

She faintly recalled Petra saying that Olivia left food out for her. Surprisingly, Jesse didn't feel hungry in the slightest. When was the last time she ate? She was meant to be starving at that point!

In the dark, the familiar red glow began to dance off of the walls. Suppressing a groan, Jesse sunk down against the nearest wall until she was sitting on the ground. She buried her head in her hands, shutting her eyes tightly so she wouldn't be reminded of the glow her gaze emitted.