tangled up in blue

11

computer luv- ravyn lenae

I wouldn't exactly say I was stalking Jace.

I was just, very normally, debating  whether or not to request his Instagram so I could not-stalk it. In a non-creepy way. There was a perfectly sane reason as to why I wanted his social media. Not to stare at pictures of him or anything, but to message him. It was pissing me off that he hadn't replied to what I'd written on the blackboard the other day, and I was far too annoyed with him to wonder why I even cared. So, naturally, I went through everyone under the letter J that Chesca followed. I doubted Lee followed his brother. He liked to pretend Jace was an unfortunate Airbnb guest that just happened to stay for Christmas.

It wasn't a big deal. One press of the screen, and it would be over. Still, I hesitated, chewing my lip.

Grow up. He won't even care.

But he'll know I purposefully searched him up. He'll humiliate me. It will be terrible.

You need to message him, though.

I could just go talk to him in person. He's literally a few meters away.

Are you insane?

This is a bad idea.

Everything's a bad idea with him. Shut up and do it, Noah.

I did it.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I buried myself under the covers, throwing my hands over my face in the horrible, sickening realization of what I'd just done. I definitely needed to go back to therapy.

I checked my phone, wishing I could take back the last 10 seconds. I shook my head, and put it down. Then I checked it again.

JJ accepted your follow request.

I locked the screen and put it back down.

I looked at the ceiling.

Then back at the phone.

I threw it back onto the sheets. Then changed my mind, and unlocked it.

JJ has requested to follow you.

Willing my nervous fingers to slide the screen open, I accepted his follow request.

He follows, like, five people, one of them being Timothée fucking Chalamet. Why the hell does he want to follow me?

I was overthinking. Rightfully.

I accepted his follow request, but all uncertainty melted away when I saw his profile. In the straightest way possible- holy fuck, he was hot. Every picture was model worthy, and in a trance, I found myself scrolling through every one, particularly hovering over a shirtless one. I wanted to be him. That was it. Jealousy.

Instantaneously, I wished I could take back letting him follow me. The two pictures I'd posted last year out of peer pressure from Lee seemed pathetic compared to how flawless Jace always looked. He was annoying like that.

Lost in my thoughts, I accidentally scrolled too fast, and liked one his old pictures. From last fucking September.

Oh my fucking God. He's gonna know. He's gonna know I was stalking him like a fucking serial killer.

However, before I could get out of bed and throw myself from the balcony, a notification popped up.

JJ liked two of your posts.

I frowned, slightly bewildered, but quickly shrugged it off and forced myself to DM him.

Me: you never replied to my chalk message you dickhead