Living In His Shadow

Chapter Ten

I've been driving around for about two hours, just trying to decide if I'm ready to go home. The whole two hours I've been driving in circles trying to avoid what's waiting for me.

I know as soon as I walk in the door, everyone will be sitting in the living room, and moping around trying to figure out what to do. My mom will probably be staring off in to space, thinking about what she can do to get me to come back.

Alex will probably squeeze me to death and tell me how much he hates me for leaving him alone to deal with mom. Justin will probably be waiting for me to call him, or for someone to let him know if I'm home, but I hope no one does. It's partly his fault that I left.

My mom's probably been thinking this whole time that it was all her fault when truthfully it wasn't. I mena yeah, I was mad at her when I left, but I went to Justin's and that just pushed me even farther off the cliff. 

I drove down the driveway, and parked in my usual spot. I got out of the car slowly and went in the house.

"Amanda, is that you," my mom shouted coming towards me.

I knew it.

"I knew you'd come back, honey." 

She threw her arms around me and pulled me closer to her.

"Are you okay," she asked already getting on my nerves.

"I'm fine," I said coldly.

She let me go.

"What's wrong," she asked.

"Nothing, can I go now."

"No."

What did she say? She never told me no. 

"Bye," I said and began walking up the stairs.

"Amanda Payson Hail, get her butt back over here," she yelled.

"Leave me alone," I shouted back.

"I am your mother," she responded.

"Not a very good one," I said and walked away.

I went into my room and shut the door behind me. I ha dbeen home for ten minutes and my mother was already all over me again. This was exactly what I was trying to get away from. I wanted away from all this stupid unbareable stress that this house put on me.

"Hey sis," Alex said knocking on my door.

"Go Away."

"Can I come in," he asked.

"I said go away."

He came into my room anyway and say down on the other end of my bed. He never liked to listen to me.

"What do you want," I said frustrated.

"Go apoligize to mom," he said.

"She started it."

"You're being a bitch, Amanda," he said softly trying to make what he said sound better.

"I've been home for about five minutes, and you two are already ganging up on me, instead of being glad I'm home," I yelled.

"You made us worried sick. We haven't seen you in five days," Alex exclaimed.

"Fine. I'm Sorry," I said bitterly.

"Go tell mom that. NOW."

I hopped off the bed and made my way downstairs to my moms bedroom. 

She was laying on her bed reading one of her old mushy romance novels. 

"Mom..."

"What."

She was pissed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No you're mot."

"Excuse me," I questioned.

"You only came in here to say you're sorry because Alex told you to," she said meanly.

"That doesn't mean I don't mean it," I replied.

"I've been worried sick for the past four and a half days thinking that I'd never see you again, and then you come back acting like nothing ever happened, and thinking that you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sick of you thinking you're so much better than everyone else in this family," she said starting to cry.

"Mom, I don't think that. I think that you're always all over Alex, and I feel that you always want to spend more time with him, instead of with me. I feel like you've given him every thing he's ever wanted. And honestly, I'm jealous. I've always been jealous. I've been wanting to be him ever since he first signed that contract. Since you first insisted he get a manager. But you never even notice," I said also starting to cry.

Tears were streaming down my face.

"You're jealous of me," Alex said sneaking up behind me causing me to jump.

"Are you guys clueless? I've been jealous of you since the beggining, since mom picked you over me. You guys didn't even pay any attention to me for the longest time," I replied.

How could they not know?

I mean, yeah, I didn't come out and say it, but I figured it was pretty obvious.

"I thought you wanted to be the normal girl," Alex said.

"Being your sister makes it much worse. I HATE IT!," I yelled.

He took a few steps back.

"Everyone's always all over me, but not because they like me, because they want to get close to you through me. I wanted to be able to live my dreams, but because of you, I cant."

"You still can, we could be a duo," Alex said trying to get me to calm down.

"I don't want to be a duo, I want to be a one girl show. I want to be able to show everyone who I am, and what I'm capable of," I said.

"Fine. If it'll make you hapy, I'll let you sing at my concert tomorrow," Alex promised.

"Really," I said.

"Yes."

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Author's Note: What did you think?

Spoiler Maybe?:   **Can you guys guess what's going to happen in the next chapter? Will Alex go through with his promise? Will Amanda sing? What about Justin? Her mom? What about Nick?

Read to find out!

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~burntindecember..<3