The First One- newt x reader

8~ The Explanation

~Y/N'S POV~

I loved mornings in the glade. Although I wasn't particularly a morning person myself: the initial feeling of waking up under the canopy of leaves; the sound of flowing water in the pond; the birds soothing calls; the cool breeze against my sweaty skin...it was all so tranquil. I steadily threw my eyes open whilst listening to the calming chirping of the birds in the trees above me, and I noticed Greenie was already awake. 

Oh- I completely forgot about last night. I said I would explain it to him later. He'll have to wait just a little bit longer because it's too early for seriousness. I decided to go sit with him and look out upon the glade. "Hey Greenie, mind if I sit?"

"No, take a seat. I actually have something to say." He announced in a happy tone. What could it be? "Go ahead Greenie!" 

"Well, for starters you don't have to call me that anymore," he smirked at me as I furrowed my brow "my name you silly goose. It doesn't have to be Greenie anymore, It's Newt." When he said it his cheeks flushed a nice shade pink- obviously he was feeling rather content. 

Newt. That's a charming name. Wait no that's the person I was asking for in my nightmare. Does that mean we were...together before all of this? I mean...I'm not exactly complaining but it feels a little strange to me. It feels a little strange to know we could have loved eachother before this and we don't remember. What if we didn't love eachother though, like what if what that doctor was saying was true? 'he doesn't want you and he never will.' What if he hated me instead?

"Um y/n is everything okay? You look sort of blank. Did I say something or-" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence, "No no no, you didn't do anything at all. I'm so happy you remember your name Greenie- I mean Newt. That's a very charming name you know?" I chuckled. I wasn't gonna tell him that I had heard his name in my dream- well atleast not yet.

 "Thank you, Your name isn't too bad either," he joked "There was actually something else I wanted to say too." Oh no it's about my nightmare isn't it ,"Go ahead."

"Well earlier, I don't exactly know if you remember but, when you woke up like that you told me you would explain later. Now, I'm not trying to pry into your personal life but you gave me quite a bloody scare and I really want to help you with whatever it was. You also said my name, before I even knew it myself. I have no clue how you knew it or why but I would like to know. I wanna be here for you: whether it's to listen to you, be your shoulder to cry on, or be your friend- I wanna help you y/n. And don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullcrap because I may have only just came up yesterday afternoon but I can see that whatever was on your mind hurt you. So I guess what I'm asking is, can you explain it to me now?"

"Well...that was quite a speech you had there," I joked and he looked down to his feet embarrassed. "Hey, my eyes are up here. Don't look so embarrassed, I was joking- duhh. Yes, I will explain- I'll even dedicate the wholeeee day to explaining if you wish- but of course I want to have breakfast first. Oh, and also, thank you. I really appreciate what you said- I think I might need that 'shoulder to cry on' service hahaha." I cracked up laughing but he just stood there obviously not wanting to joke about any pain I experience. 

He truly seems to care. I think I might like him even more...

--time skip to after breakfast--

After we had breakfast, Alby left us to go and try build some sort of hut and he wanted to do it alone so that meant Newt and I had the whole day together to do the gardening. I told him I would explain after we did our job because we seriously needed to dig some veg up- I was running out of vegetables for our soups so was kind of desperate. When it got to midday, we quickly scoffed down some sandwiches before getting back to work so he could get his 'explanation' quicker.

Once I pulled the final carrot out of the dirt and put it in a basket, I signaled Newt to come over and he knew what it was for so he quickly jumped up- damn this boy must really care or just really like to get up in peoples business, except he didn't seem like the type to pry so he must just care. He smiled as perched next to me and I began whilst we pulled at stray blades of the grass underneath us to keep our fingers busy, "So um, just don't interrupt okay? And don't laugh at me!" "I would never do such a thing, love."

"So, Ever since my second night in the Glade I have had these sort of...nightmares. They happen quite regularly so to be honest, we should have warned you- but we didn't because it makes me feel so weak. Like 'boohoo you get nightmares, go cry into your pillow like any other baby would'," I saw him tense but I just carried on- holding my elephant on my necklace as I spoke.

"They aren't exactly normal nightmares though, they are just so vivid. In fact, I think they might be memories but don't tell Alby that because he would get all official about it and I don't want to think any of that ever happened to me- although I think it really did. The nightmares are about all sorts- and I am in every one of course, but so are other people, familiar people. For example, my first one was with a little boy named Chuck who was my brother and there were two people who were my parents and there was also me, but I was a little younger. That dream was basically just of us being taken away from our parents and I can picture so vividly my moms face as we were carried away," I didn't realise until I felt Newt's strong grip around me but I was crying as I told him the story, and he was stroking my hair whilst listening closely. It felt so good.

"Well anyway before I go crying more, you get the point. it's so shucking painful because it feels so shucking real and I try to suppress my screams but I don't have much control over it- sometimes I manage to stay quiet though. I'm sorry I couldn't keep it down last night, you must have been so frightened- atleast you got your explanation though." I shrugged hoping an explanation was enough.

Newt piped up shortly after, "If you don't mind me asking, how often do you get them?" I contemplated whether I should answer because he seemed genuinely concerned and I didn't want to worry him but I realised, we live together now so he would hear me screaming anyway- no point in sparing him any worrying details. "About 4 times a week," He looked at me apologetically and I answered his look by saying, "Don't worry about it. You don't need to apologize for something that you only just found out about. It is my thing to deal with and mine only."

"Hey. It isn't just yours to deal with! I'm gonna help you in any way I can okay, love?" We sat in silence for a while together, me in his arms. I felt so overwhelmingly safe in his arms I didn't want to leave, but I guess someone had to make dinner.