22~Hope

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--a year later--

It has been a few months, could actually be a year but I've lost count. I try not to dwell on how long we are here for or have been here because it's pretty fucking depressing sometimes. Sometimes it's great here: other times I can't help but curl up into a ball and scream.

It's so isolating here and I just wanna get out. Luckily, in the past few months I actually have been able to get out and that is the only thing (other than Newt and my family) keeping me sane. The way I had got to leave the Glade was because of my new job- I will explain that soon. First though, I'll tell you what has happened in the past months.

Boy after boy came up every month like clockwork; still, there was no other girl here with me. I really did wish I had a girl here to chat with and that, but I love the boys all the same. The boys that had came up were really nice to me (apart from a few). There was Gally, Frypan, Winston, Jeff, and Zart among some others- although I hadn't really gotten to know the other boys because I was a bit awkward. I had gotten close to all of them (well, the ones mentioned) and they were really good friends to me.

I had gotten especially close to Frypan- he is WONDERFUL. From the moment he stepped into the Glade, he was smiling. He is constantly smiling and that smile- his smile- can quite literally make everyone in the Glade so much happier. Whenever he is around, I can't help but feel drawn to him. He is my bestfriend- aswell as Minho and Alby, but my connection with Fry is just something different. Alby is like my older brother, Minho is my funny bestfriend, and Fry is just sort of my other half- I tell him everything and I go to him for anything. Fry had also taken over my place as chef when he came up, god am I happy about that: his bacon and his stew are things I look forward to every day.

When all the other boy started coming up, Alby decided that we should make a job system to keep the Glade in order. The jobs we have so far are: Builders, pretty self explanatory; Med Jacks, kind of like the doctors of the Glade; Sloppers, they clean everywhere; Baggers, like the police of the Glade at times and they have to bury the bodies of Gladers (sadly there have been a few losses); Slicers, they feed and raise the lifestock and they have to kill the animals too for the cooks to cook; Track- hoes, like the gardeners really; and then there are Runners, the ones who run the maze in search of a way out- I am one of those.

Being a Runner means I get to leave the Glade every day, which is great, but it is also tiring as hell. We leave when the walls open at sunrise and then we get back by sunset and alllll we do is just run for the day (and map out the maze). It is sometimes kinda boring and although I'm a runner, I am also actually kind of a lot of other jobs too; I sort of float around to wherever I am needed because I am good at any job. I don't do all of the jobs (I wouldn't ever be a slicer, or a bagger, and being a slopper isn't ideal either) so I kind of stick to being a runner, med jack, builder, cook, and track-hoe.

If you can't tell- I don't fit into one category: I don't really mind that though because it's nice to float around and be with different people on different days. Alby has become the leader, also known as the first in command and me and Newt are known as the second- in commands (Alby didn't wanna pick between the two of us so just said we could both be his seconds). Being a second in command means that if something was to happen to Alby or he wasn't available, me and Newt would take charge.

I'm also sort of the Glade mother in a way because I keep the boys in check and I also don't take any bullshit so they all listen to me.

--

It would be nice to have another girl here with us- I hope we will soon. Today is supposed to be a Greenie day so fingers-crossed a girl comes up- I'm running out hope though. Alby, Newt, Minho and Fry all knew how badly I wanted another girl up here so they wanted one to come up aswell. They just want me to be happy- I haven't been so happy recently. Everything is just getting me down and I hate that we have been here for so long in the same place, and truth be told...I don't think we are ever going to get out.

The reason I think this is because me and Minho have pretty much finished mapping the maze now, and we are stuck because we don't think there is anything left and we still haven't found an exit. Alby told us to keep it a secret so the other gladers wouldn't lose hope but it's hard for people not to wonder when they see me moping around so I have been trying to cover the sadness up but it doesn't really work- the boys could see past my mask. It's only Alby, Newt, Minho, and I who know about it but Fry could still see something was up and it was killing me to keep it from him, but I didn't want his smile to go away.

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