The First One- newt x reader

16~ The Apology

--5:00am in the Glade--

After a sleepless night, I went wondering around our home. I ended up next to the pond, in the kitchen, and I even layed for a few hours just watching the stars in my spot- but now I was just sat in the middle of the Glade waiting for the sun to come up. Last night, I truly saw the beauty of where we were. I don't know if it's a good thing that we are trapped here, but god is it a wonderful place. I feel so at home, at peace.

I think I'll ask Alby for the day off today so I can have a nap, I'm sure he would let me. I'm also gonna try get some sleep tonight because I know that I can't just become some sort of nocturnal creature: I wouldn't get to spend time with my friends. Yes sleeping at night has it's consequences but I can't let a few bad dreams stop me from living a normal life. And I'm getting so shucking sick of being the weak one: the girl who get's bad dreams every night; the girl who has to be protected; the girl who cries all the shucking time. Like come on, I need to get a grip.

 From now on I'm gonna be tough. I won't cry into Newt's arms as much (especially because he's the main one I want to see me as strong), I won't let them act as my protectors 24/7, and I will pretend I'm fine. I may be breaking inside but I'm not going to let people see it as much because I'm not the only one going through hell right now. Everyone has their own personal battles they are fighting through and I am not going to make myself come first. I will not be selfish. I will be strong.

The chilly breeze poked at my skin so I hugged my knees to my chest for extra warmth. There was something calming about hugging my knees, it made me feel safer for some odd reason. I stared at the grass surrounding me and it swayed in sync with the wind against my y/s/c skin. I should probably go get a blanket or something to wrap around me if I'm gonna sit out in this cold. 

"Couldn't sleep?" I looked over my shoulder and it was just Minho, which was a good thing because although I knew the only people here were me, him, Alby, and Newt, he still gave me a darn fright and a half.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that Minho, you'll give them a heart-attack!"

"Oh sure sure- because I'm really that scary." he chuckled at me who was just sat looking down at the bed of grass below, picking and pulling at random blades. "I'm not joking, you really did give me a fright. Just don't do that again, okay?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you...and also sorry for yesterday," he came and sat next to me now so I could see the sincerity on his face "I didn't mean to go all 'You're so beautiful, mwah, mwah, mwah' on you but I was telling the truth and my feelings just got ahead of me I guess. Apart from the unexpected aspect though, you can't tell me you didn't feel something." 

Oh god. He thinks I enjoyed it. How do I tell him I like someone else without damaging his ego and humiliating myself...

"Look Minho, I'm sorry but I truly didn't feel anything. I'm sure you are a great guy and everything but I'm not looking for anything like that from you right now." I hated to put him down like that but I couldn't let him do that again.

"From me? Oh, I see... you like Newt, don't you?" Ugh I don't want to get into this right now. "No of course not...I mean, no... w-well not really." Ugh of course I fumbled over my words- now he's gonna know I'm lying.

"Don't worry, I saw the thing your face did when I mentioned his name just then, but I won't tell... I'll win you over in the end, princess." He then planted a soft kiss on my cheek and headed in the direction of the pond- well I'm guessing that's where he's headed because he seems to like to freshen up early each morning.

God I hope he doesn't say anything. Even the slightest hint or joke about it in front of either Alby or Newt himself, and I will kick that bitch in the balls. Deadass :)

--time skip to breakfast--

The other two boys were awake now and we all sat at the table eating some sausages. I could clearly sense some tension- mostly from Minho but I just brushed it off. Breakfast just went on as normal: eating, talking, laughing, groaning about how tired we were, and talking about what would happen today.

Once our plates were all spotless, Minho went to start off some building work that Alby would soon help him with- I'm not really sure what it was but I didn't bother to ask. That left the three of us at the table and I asked Alby, "Could I have the day off today? It's not that I wouldn't love to work up a sweat with you guys but I need to nap today."

"Y/n/n, did you not sleep at all last night?" He was really concerned for me but it wasn't a big deal- whoopsie doo I went one night without sleep what a freaking shame. I'm not a baby I can go a few days without it. "No, I didn't. But can you stop babying me and just let me take the day off, please?" he just nodded in response and then got up and left to join Minho, which then left me and Newt alone. Hereee we go, he's gonna do one of his annoying yet adorable momma type speeches about how I need to take care of myself.

"I'm not going to lecture you, but go get some sleep for me okay? And tonight, you are going to try and go to sleep. And if you wake up screaming or crying or whatever may happen, I will be right there to get you back to sleep again. Rest good, love." he planted a tender kiss on my forehead and I went over to my hammock to obey his orders.