Rise of the Dead

Chapter 11: The Gun

"Sometimes people won't understand how you feel until it happens to them, until they experience the pain." ~ Brigitte Nicole

- - -

After spending a few more days at the house we decide to move on from the mansion, the need for answers proving too strong and the feeling of safety lessening daily. The car's engine revs but I keep my foot steadily on the accelerator, a speed camera flashes and I smile, who's there to penalise me? The open road is just as beautiful as a forest or rolling countryside, the air whipping through the open window and flutters my hair around my face gently.

I pull into a rusty gas station and cut the engine smoothly, sliding out of the driving seat and shutting the door quietly. The group follows my lead and walk briskly around the car to stand around me, their expressions blank and weary.

"You three try and find more petrol whilst Josh and I go inside, we'll try and stock up on more supplies, see if there are any survivors here," I explain, "we'll be back in a minute, be safe."

The group nods in acknowledgement and I pull Josh into the garage shop, running my fingers over the blade of my knife and feeling the cool metal under my fingertips. An action I have found to be soothing in the past few days as more zombies turned up at the mansion, the texture relaxing me. I search through the shelves and discarded belongings methodically, amongst the outdated newspapers my eyes stumble across some black metal. My brows furrow and I shuffle forward transfixed.

A gun.

I always knew there were guns in England, even though their possession is illegal, but I never thought I'd truly see one. I pick it up in my palm and slide my fingers around it, twisting the metal in my grasp, I slide open the chamber with a moment of difficulty to find a few bullets and I smile in astonishment. I notice a pack of bullets that too lie discarded on the floor and stuff them into my pocket when a noise crashes through the air.

I raise the gun up and spin around soundlessly, my heart hammering against my chest. The weapon feels heavy in my hands, my little knowledge of firing the weapon unsettling me. As I round the corner I notice a little girl slouched in front of me and my eyes fill with tears, her decaying jaw chatters at me and I whimper in pain. A kind of emotional pain that haunts you forever, something that will stay with you until you die- however long that will be. She charges forward and I fire the bullet instinctively, it lodges into her head and I flinch back as blood splatters the shelf of crisps.

Josh's footfall echoes through the shop and he runs into me, enveloping me in a hug. 

"MADELINE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, I HEARD THE GUN!" he shouts and I cry into his arms, I can feel him stare at the girl and his grip tightens as he leads me out the garage.

I hear the others sighs of relief as I swing open the door and I shakily put the gun away, my eyes on the floor as my tears fall. 

"What's going on?" Toby asks and but I shake my head numbly, well aware the gun will have attracted unwanted attention. When Toby speaks again I can hear the frown in his voice. "Madeline? What happened?" he persists and my red eyes snap up- anger flaring.

"CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE? YOU DON'T GET IT! SHE WAS JUST A CHILD AND I SHOT HER, STOP ASKING ME TO RELIVE IT. PLEASE JUST SHUT UP!" I shout and he takes a step back in surprise, he holds his hands up and I wipe my eyes on my sleeve. I sigh apologetically and open my mouth to explain but he cuts me off.

"Don't stress it, Madeline, you're right, I don't understand what it's like. But I what I do understand, is that it isn't your fault," he says softly and I just shrug again before sliding into the passenger seat. My mind banishing the thoughts and I focus on the road, watching the trees flash by.

As dusk approaches, we are faced with a decision which I welcome with open arms- a comforting distraction; one that has us all in deep concentration. Do we drive through the night and make quicker time, or stop each night for safety? We spent the past few hours debating this and still haven't come to a decision, the question rolling around the stuffy car. Finally, Josh speaks up, a hint of authority in his voice.

"Look guys let's just stop for the night, safety comes first," he states blankly, we all reply in agreement and I look back up to the car-strewn road.

We continue driving for another hour before night settles and we pull over into the darkness, our headlights the only source of light for miles. I flick them off and turn on my torch as a replacement, I shining it around the car.

"Should one of us keep watch or do we think it's safe here?" I ask, chewing my lip painfully.

They consider this for a moment before Sophie leans forward, her seatbelt pulling against her chest. 

"I think we should each guard for two hours, in shifts, that way we all sleep for most of the night," she explains and we nod in agreement.

"I'm happy with that. How about I take the first watch, then Josh, Amelia, Toby and finally you Soph?" I put forward, my eyes scanning the group for signs of a complaint.

"Seems fair," Toby yawns and leans back into his seat, we all follow his lead and get into a comfy position. I shut out the light and we're plunged into darkness, only the faintest glow coming from the stars that beam in the clear sky. I used to stargaze with my dad, some of my fondest memories gazing up into the night sky. Where is he now? And my mum, is she even alive?

It's not long before snores echo around me and I chuckle to myself, good job the infected's hearing doesn't seem to be sharp. I sit there for the rest of my watch with my knees tucked up to my chest, thinking deeply and scanning the fields that line the sides of the road.

Will this ever be over? Is there a cure? Will we all make it out alive? What if someone becomes infected? Would I have the guts to shoot a friend? What if it was Amelia? Or Josh?

The questions consume my mind for the hours of darkness until Josh shakes my shoulder, signalling that it's my turn to sleep- I guess he couldn't sleep to still be awake. I lie down gratefully and it isn't long before my eyelids flutter closed, my dazed mind twisting my thoughts.

"MADELINE HELP US! PLEASE, HELP US!" my mother's screams fill the air and I cringe at the desperation in her voice, my heart thundering in a sickening terror.

"Do something, everything in your power. Anything you can, no matter what!" my father pleads. I clamp my hands over my ears and rock back and forth until the screams stop, slowly I open my eyes and see the scene in front of me is gone. That's when I hear it.

Nothing. Silence. The thing I've grown so attuned to that I notice it more than noise. I spin around as goosebumps travel up my spine and I see a glowing light far away from me, the light gets closer and closer and I gasp as I focus on what is coming.

It's the little girl I shot earlier, her decaying skin haunting my sleeping body. I can't do this again, I can't watch the light fade from her eyes and hear the thud as she hits the floor. It's too painful, I flinch as the pistol appears in my hand and I shake violently. Breathing through my nose I grit my teeth, I can do this, no matter how bad it hurts- I have to defend those around me.

I tighten my grip on the gun and screw my eyes shut as I pull the trigger, I collapse to my knees painfully knowing again that I had no choice and the tears flow freely from my eyes.

As I open them the scene before me changes yet again and I'm stood at the end of the jetty at our lake, I turn around at the snapping of a twig and see Josh walking towards me. But, it's not Josh. He's been infected, I swallow deeply as I feel the gun in my hand. I can't do it, this is not happening.

I point the gun at Josh for a second longer before twisting it around and pressing it against my temple.

Then I pull the trigger.

My eyes fly open and I breathe heavily as I look around the car which is lit by the early morning light, I glance up at Sophie who is staring deeply out the window and think back to my dream.

I know what made it so painful to start with was the helplessness I felt, not saving my family or the little girl crushed me from inside. But the ending was different, I used everything in my power, as my dad said, and I found another way.

I know that's what I need to do, I must do everything in my power to solve this virus of murder. And I will do whatever it takes.