My Life From Hell (The Blooming Goddess #3)

Radiance of Memory (Part 1)

"We're performing the ritual under the freaking pomegranate tree?" I was incredulous.

Kai grimaced. "You didn't know."

"You think?" I brought my knees into my chest and then beat my head against them. "There's a garden, isn't there?"

"Not so much anymore." Kai stuck his arm between my head and my knees. "Quit it. I don't need you getting concussed."

Instead of using them to beat myself senseless, I rested my head on my knees, this time pressing my cheek against my damp jeans to look at Kai more closely. "How did I not know this? I was the one who knew where the ritual was supposed to happen."

"When did you start having the visions? How soon after you remembered?"

I'd been out of it for a while, healing from Bethany's stab wounds. But the visions had started pretty much once I was back on my feet. "When Theo started getting the ritual details from me," I said.

Kai nodded. "He never pressed you for more specific info on the location though, did he?"

"No. Why not?"

"Because back when you told us that we had to perform the ritual in Eleusis? We all knew exactly where. It was the only place near the Temple of Demeter that made sense. You did know," he added gently. "Even if you didn't, or couldn't consciously remember it."

I scratched at my jaw. "But you thought I actually knew and just wasn't talking about it."

Kai sat with his knees also to his chest, mirroring me. He propped a fist on top and rested his chin on his hands, staring into the flames. "Yeah. I mean, you were so freaked out by your visions. I thought that was part of the reason why."

"No. They were disturbing enough on their own."

He touched my arm, his face turned to mine. "It's just a place. It doesn't mean anything."

"It means something." I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs. "You weren't in the vision. If things ended well and we did what we needed to, why weren't you there? Why did I feel like I was dead? Or everyone was? Or both?" I gave a ragged laugh. "Ohmigod."

Helplessness flashed across Kai's face before he shrugged. "I don't know." He gripped my hands. "But I swear to you, Sophie, I won't leave you."

He had though. He'd left me back when we fought Delphyne, and he'd stolen Theo's chain to go after Hades. He'd left me when Felicia told him about Persephone's betrayal. Yeah, he'd come back but, not emotionally. Not completely.

I wondered if he held that crucial final piece of his heart back from me even now.

Sadness washed over me. My palms prickled. Not with rage, but nervous fear. Was Kai capable of loving me in the way I wanted? In the way I deserved? In the way I loved him? How much difference did me being human make to our fundamental understanding of how this relationship should go.

"What you thinking, Goddess?"

I tugged my hands from his. "You called me that, you know."

He squinted at me. "What?"

"In Hades. You called me, Goddess. Well," I laughed, kind of. "You called Persephone that. Seeing as you didn't remember I existed."

"Because of an enchantment," he said, watching me carefully.

"Yeah, yeah. But see, I thought that was your name for me." I was appalled to realize how much this mattered to me. My eyes misted up. "Not a left-over." I waved at some smoke coming off of the fire, using it as an excuse to wipe my eyes.

"You have her memories." Kai sounded exasperated. "Did I ever once call her that?"

I thought about it. "Not that I recall now, but—"

"Do you remember what I said that day when I first told you that I loved you?"

Every single word. "Maybe? What in particular?"

Kai's amusement said he knew I was full of it. "That goddesses are easy. They're vain and temperamental, but that I know how to handle them. When the truth was ..." his voice twisted, "Seventeen years ago, Persephone was going to betray me. Kill me, for all I know, and I had no clue. No suspicion at all. I was totally played."

"What's your point?"

"I also told you that you were this mouthy human that I couldn't figure out, and couldn't make fall in line."

I was starting to cramp in this position so I sat up, shaking out my shoulders. "Don't forget how I kept getting under your skin," I said.

"Trust me, I couldn't forget that." He straightened, and raked his hand through his hair. "These past few days? Five minutes with you and I knew something was wrong. You made me so angry and nothing about you was easy. It drove me crazy. I knew it wasn't her. I called Persephone 'Goddess' for the first time ever because on some level, I recognized you."

I wanted to believe him. He sounded sincere enough. Plus, he was giving me that look like I was chocolate and he just had to indulge his very serious sweet tooth.

Perhaps I could give him the benefit of the doubt.

I shifted so that I was facing him straight on and leaned in. I curled my fingers into his shirt and tugged him closer. "Kissing me is also so much better."

He blushed.

It was simultaneously the sweetest and hottest thing I'd ever seen. My heart melted.

I kissed him.

Fireworks, earthquakes, fairy dust, it was all that and a heap of jaw-dropping magnificence.

"I love you," I said against his lips.

He pushed me softly to the ground. His eyes heating up as he leaned over me. "So much and more. My phospherocious girl." His voice was so tender.

Neither of us moved. Something profound had just shifted between us. The air itself felt weighted. Charged. Not with chemistry, but with something more real and scary and wonderful.

The heat was intense. And not from Festos' fire.

This was the moment we should have had after Kai had first said he loved me. But maybe we had needed the misery of the past couple months to get here. Without the pain, we couldn't have had the joy.

As I stared into Kai's eyes, I was lost. My heart raced. Whatever this was, it was so precious. And I was suddenly so afraid. What if I'd finally gotten what I wanted only to have it snatched from me? What if the vision was right and soon I'd be dead, or alone or ... "Kai—"

Kai shook his head. Almost violently. "Don't talk." He pressed into me for a kiss that was deeper and slower than any we'd ever had.

I was floating. Only the soft, gentle pressure of his fingers splayed against my stomach kept me from rising up and away. The kiss was sweet and heavy and longing. I trembled, twining my fingers into his hair to bring him closer. Make our two halves whole.

My skin flushed. My body tingled under the onslaught of this electrifying, spine-tingling, butterfly-inducing amazingness. Under this kiss of pure love.

Kai pulled away. "Try to sleep. We're going to need all our energy." He curved his body around mine, his hand resting across my waist.

I relaxed into him. I needed this. The rest, the closeness.

Us.