My Life From Hell (The Blooming Goddess #3)

Sophie's Top Ten List of Final Showdown Terrors

10) Getting Stabbed: As a crazed junkie jonsing for magic and blaming me for no longer having her amped up popularity and hotness, Bethany Russo-Hill will once again manage to gut me like a fish. This time with something that causes my accelerated healing powers to fail me, and so this attack will be fatal. Instead of merely bloody, exceedingly painful, and almost fatal, like the last one.

9) The premature death of my friends: Unable to break through the wards at the apartment of Hephaestus, God of Fire, Volcanos, and Technology (where I am currently staying) in order to kill me, Zeus and Hades will find a way past the wards at my old school and kill all my friends instead.

8) New deadly foes: Some other wackjob Greek god, who I have not yet met, will decide to show up and wreak havoc and/or try to kill me before the equinox.

7) Old deadly foes: Since it wasn't enough payback that my real mother, Demeter, pretended to be my drunk, adoptive, love-withholding parent Felicia for my entire life, she will make a deal with one of my enemies to somehow screw me over; thus hastening my downfall and death.

6) Not being up to the job: Even though my higher superior goddess power makes me capable of taking out the minions of Hades and Zeus, those gods have an inexhaustible supply of minions. When Zeus and Hades set them full force against me, which they're sure to do in the final battle, I'll be exhausted (and thus dead) before they've really tapped into their stockpile.

5) Kai being an idiot: Kai won't show up to perform the love ritual with me on the equinox, thus assuring Zeus and Hades emerge victorious, with more expendable human casualties in their ongoing war. It's totally unfair of Kai to be mad at me, Sophie, just because before my human self was even born, my goddess self chose to betray him. Stupidly, I still love that idiot.

4) Kai being a different kind of idiot: Kai will show up to perform the love ritual with me on the equinox. But because the stuff that happened with Persephone still hurts him, the ritual won't work, thus assuring Zeus and Hades emerge victorious, with more expendable human casualties in their ongoing war. Insert another Persephone rant here. And some choice words for Kai in the bargain.

3) Me self-destructing: This constant anger I feel since learning that Persephone betrayed both my mother and Kai, my mother pulling me out of Hope Park, and being stabbed and left to die will get the better of me. I'll spontaneously combust in a giant bomb of rage, spewing destruction across a massive blast zone, and ensuring Zeus and Hades emerge victorious etc etc.

2) Fear-of-aftermath affecting my game: Even if I win, what will my future hold? Can I put "saved world" on a college application? If I fulfill my destiny next week, where do I go from there? A Where Are They Now pity piece in some Greek god trash rag?

1) Me getting it all so wrong: The prophecy about me being the savior of humanity will be totally off-base and the one about me being an instrument of destruction will nail it. Come spring equinox, I, Sophie Bloom, will personally destroy the Earth and everyone on it. Probably including myself.

Good times.