Always » Severitus

☆ 10 | Breakfast ☆

Dear Mumma

It has been a week since we came to the manor. I have been doing my assignments regularly in case, Professor asked to check them.

Hermione wrote to me a few days ago telling me that our exam results will be arriving soon. She told me not to worry about it and focus on my summer assignments.

I have wet the bed every night during the week and even some daytime accidents, but Mickey was always there to help me clean up and promised not to say anything about it to Professor Snape. She is my friend, amiable and caring. She always brings me food because Professor rarely calls me down to have food with him. I know I am not allowed to touch anything except when I am cleaning them. I like cleaning, so I sometimes help Mickey clean the house. I also helped her with the garden.

Today I decided to give a surprise to Professor by cooking him breakfast. I made pancakes and bacon for him, which Mickey said were his favorite. Uncle Vernon always had several helpings whenever I cooked pancakes, so I guess I am pretty good at it.

I set the table and waited for him to come down. I smiled as he walked down the stairs waiting to tell him about the breakfast I made but as soon as he saw me, he looked angry and was about to go back. I told him not to disturb his routine because of me and came back to my room.

As soon as I reached my room, I buried my face into a pillow and cried into it as quietly as possible, not wanting anyone to hear me.

Am I that bad that no one ever wanted me? Am I Mumma? I think you also will be disgusted by me being your son. After all, I was the reason why Voldemort killed you.

I am sorry for being such a freak. I am really sorry, Mumma. I will try to stop. I seriously will. I promise. I don't want you to hate me. I didn't mean to upset Professor Snape or even give him a reason to hate me. I just wanted to surprise him and thank him for all he has done for me till now. I think if he knew I made the breakfast, he would have thrown it away.

I will not cry anymore. I will work hard and make Professor proud.

Mickey popped into the room and held me till I quieted down. She told me that we need to plan to make him realize I am worthy of being his son. She told me to complete my summer assignments as soon as possible, keep my room clean and study hard to get good marks. I could also help around the house without hiding so that Professor could see my efforts and love me as he does to Draco.

I know I shouldn't feel like this, but I wish I was like Draco. He is so bright, intelligent, and didn't even have accidents like a baby. Everyone loves him, even Professor Snape, but I matter to no one.

Grandpa visited today telling me that my exam results are out as he handed me the envelope. I opened it feeling nervous but was relieved to see my result until I reached my potion marks. It was an A. I barely managed to pass when I had put so much effort into it. Grandpa informed me that I got the third position in the class after Draco, Hermione, and Theo. Draco and Hermione's score was the same, and they topped the class while Theo was just behind them with a difference of 1%. I was 2.2% behind Theo. Grandpa left after congratulating me.

Professor Snape took the paper out of my hands, looking over my marks.

He looked at me disgusted and shoved the envelope at me. I backed up against the wall as he advanced towards me. He glared at me before telling me to face the wall and not move before I was told to do so. I stood by the wall crying. I don't know why I cry so much like a baby.

Halfway through the punishment, I felt the need to use the bathroom but didn't want to anger him more than he already was. I tried to tell him about it, but he told me to keep quiet. I was so scared when he shouted at me to stay silent when I couldn't hold it anymore and tried to tell him that I peed myself. He had spanked me and told me he would get me diapers if this happened again.