Always » Severitus

☆ 13 | I Wish It Were Like That ☆

Albus sat on his desk pondering over the events of the past week. It had been a week since the day he punished Severus.

Severus had seemed to withdraw into himself. He rarely spoke to anyone until necessary or when directly spoken to, but he would come up with the shortest answer possible, ending the conversation at that.

He barely ate the meals. Sev hadn't made a move to approach Harry to apologize to the child, and Albus was well aware of the reason. His threat hadn't gone in vain. He knew his son inside out to figure out what Sev was thinking. His son was afraid of being away from the ones he loved. The longing stares Sev cast at Harry or the smell of fire whiskey coming off him hadn't gone unnoticed by Albus.

His red-rimmed eyes with dark circles beneath them gave his improper sleeping habits away. Albus regretted all he said to Sev that night. He knew he shouldn't have forced Harry on Sev when he wasn't ready to father a child or without Sev's consent on the matter.

Harry might have felt bad about his dad not wanting him, but still, it would all have been better if he had talked to Sev before taking a decision or at least have gone to check on them after they were settled together.

It wasn't Severus's fault. It might have been to some extent because rather than turning Harry away, Sev could have tried to get along with the child, but Albus had a big hand in all the pain his boys were suffering.

Severus may have abused the child verbally and mentally, but he never laid a hand on him, except when he spanked Harry for wetting himself. Albus sighed as he realized the errors in his decisions and actions. He wasted no time to floo over to Severus's quarters.

He stopped dead in his tracks as his brain registered what Sev must have been doing. He snatched the blade out of Sev's hand as he sat down beside him.

"Sev," he said softly, drawing his son's attention.

"Headmaster," Albus sighed as he heard his formal title coming from Severus.

"Why?" Albus inquired, running his hand over the few slashes on Sev's wrist, healing them as he looked at Severus.

"You didn't want me anymore," Severus replied, looking down at his hands.

"Sev, I am really sorry, my child. I never asked you if you wanted Harry. I should have checked on you two. I am really sorry for punishing you in front of everyone. Would you find it in yourself to forgive this old man?"

That's when Severus lost his resolve of holding his tears back and buried his face in Albus's robes, sobbing softly.

Albus held his son as he cried, shedding a few tears of his own. He could feel the heat radiating off Severus and knew his child was suffering from fever, maybe from the lack of sleep and food. He slightly waved his hand, spelling a fever reducer into Severus's system.

After about 20 minutes, Severus was calm enough to talk as he pushed away from his father's embrace.

"You don't have to apologize, dad. It's my fault. There is no one to blame except me for what Harry has suffered. I might have not wanted him, but he is my son and my responsibility. I should have at least tried. I don't have to keep up appearances anymore now that the dark lord is gone. Even if you have talked to me and I would have refused to take Harry in. He would have eventually found out and would have been hurt then too." He took a deep breath before continuing.

" I must have tried to be a father to him, even if I wasn't ready. I might have not abused him physically, but what I did had a great mental impact on him. Now I think of it, I always wanted a reminder of Lily and now that I have it, I will cherish it. I know I have missed a crucial part of his life, but I am willing to start all over again babying and spoiling him on the way, considering he never had a childhood in the first place at the hands of Petunia as she never treated him more than a house elf or even worse."