Isabel's Choice

Chapter 18 - Lars

Place and time: Souther River Border,  the same day as the previous chapter

Sven accepted to be the next Alpha,  summer came and most of our family members cried.

Future Alpha Sven cried during training, because of pain, because of hurt, until one of the witches took care of his injuries. And then he cried with frustration at the end of his sessions, because his progress was not fast enough to his taste.

Future Luna Alejandra cried because every evening her mate collapsed in bed exhausted, unable to perform any bond nourishing activities or even have a normal conversation with her.

Stephane, Finn's Healer turned out to be his oldest daughter's mate. Finn sent him to our pack to train under my mother's guidance and get his wings before getting Charlotte's mark. The witch boy cried because milady Senior Healer Ayn, although kind and polite, was a demanding teacher. Her tolerance for anything less than the best effort was limited to non-existent.

Our young warriors cried because instead of training with me, they were assigned to do it with Eino. He also shed some tears, though they were of laughter, at how they cowered in Hail's presence.

I didn't cry.

In fact, for several weeks I managed to comply with the Alpha's order, and still my lust to run to Owen's territory. I did that by training diligently and reading all sorts of literature on the history and customs of the River Border. And by jerking off with a frequency that rivaled that of my teenage days.

But one morning, when I woke up again with the bitter taste of loneliness in my mouth, I thought about how we were taught to follow orders within the limits of what is possible.

I decided that it was not possible to follow Kari's order for the many, many moons that Sven was going to need to rise, and I raced on my bike to the River.

And I met Isabel. And I bathed in her presence and her scent and her smile.

But only for two minutes, because afterwards I got caught. By my Alpha.

***

So now, as I am looking at my father's eyes that have lost all traces of green and are turquoise like the ice I am spawning these days, I fear for a moment that my tears will add to the lake my family has been so diligently filling.

"Explain," is Kari's dry ask - issued when we are far enough from the populated area of Owen's territory.

"OK, so I broke your order. One order. Once," I answer, and then I make the poor decision to add, without properly containing the irony: "I am ready to do one hundred shifts of border patrol."

Suddenly I don't know what I find more shocking: the atrocious pain in the rib which shattered under Kari's fist, the realization that, in the thousands of hours we spent training in human form with him, he seems to have exerted immense control and has never released his true power, or the hurt look in his eyes as he crouches down in front of me to slowly articulate:

"You are in no position to be cheeky with me, little rogue."

"I am not a rogue." Curled up like a worm on the ground, I still bristle at his awful insult. "I just wanted to see my mate. Like you did once, against what your Alpha ordered you," I blurt out defensively, remembering an anecdote my mother told us a long time ago.

Kari narrows his eyes, probably searching for his recollection of that incident.

" Oh right, when I left my post to save your mother's trespassing...your mother from the fangs of Rio's Beta. That is true, I did that. My Alpha almost killed me, even though my insubordination wouldn't have had lethal consequences for my mate or myself, nor did it put his pack at raid risk."

As I suddenly understand what enraged him so, Kari stands and unbuckles his belt.

He pulls it from the loops of his jeans in a swift movement but then folds it in half slowly, focusing on how it bends between his fingers and explaining:

"I have watched Xander doing this so many times."

He twists the leather strap, examining it from different sides, checking the way the buckle pushes against his fist.

"I have never done it myself..." His observation is a whisper, but then the belt cuts violently through the air, ripping away the bark of the young oak next to which I have landed. I am flushed with adrenaline, and if I could crawl away I would.

"It does the same to skin. The physical pain is quite substantial, especially when you don't have a wolf to heal you yet," Kari notes neutrally.

A grunt from his side, a cracking sound heading in my direction, but instead of smelling my blood as I am expecting,  the scent of fresh sap fills my nose.

"There are ways to contract your muscles at the right time, to minimize the injuries to the deeper tissues."

The poor oak however cannot contract anything, and the next blow exposes the very core of its trunk.

"Once I had learned those, I was able to think during the whole...process and I thought about many random things. Like what could Xander have been reciting to my sister when he beat the crap out of her. I mean, I got to hear a lot of stuff - how I was weak, because, look at me, crying due to a little pain. That my rules-questioning, border-testing behavior was unfit for a future Alpha... But Mia was a tiny female that didn't need to be groomed, and definitely not in this way."

Kari's voice is shaking, but his hand is not when he delivers the next hit against the tree, precisely one inch above my curled-up body.

"The day Storm awoke inside me I gave thanks to the Goddess that I have made it to adulthood. I told Xander that I will fight Rock - his wolf - with teeth as many times as I need to, but that, if he lays hands on Mia or me again, I will kill him in his sleep.

And...I swore to myself that if I were ever to be blessed with a pup, I will honor both their human side and their dormant wolf.

I will not speak to them or handle them like a rabid dog.

I thought that would be enough to raise a future Alpha with a strong pack mind. Not a follower, not one that obeys blindly, but one that has enough intrinsic control and acts in the best interest of the pack."

Another lash falls so very close to my back, I feel the shirt I am wearing shift against my skin.

„Until today I had no doubts that my approach was the right one."

The damaged trunk is severed with one hit and I am almost hoping that now it's my turn to receive one. Or more. As if losing some blood would help shed the guilt both Lightning and I are feeling.

But the belt drops close to my face and, because my body craves release, tears flow shamelessly on the warm soil.

"I am sorry, dad."

"Yeah, me too.  But you are too old to have your ass whipped and I am too old to change my ways. You are on duty on the Pass starting tomorrow, until Sven's transfer ceremony. And then...may the Goddess have mercy on that female you plan to bond as your mate. I hope you will be more respectful towards her life and the safety of your pack than you have been towards them today."

His words are spoken as he's walking away. They crack and misplace the ribs that my wolf had barely managed to heal.

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A/N: Circle-breaker Kari ❤️.