Isabel's Choice

Chapter 27 - Isabel

It took some weeks for the Alpha to get his answers from the Council. Normally I would have focused on the axe that was about to drop - in the form of some additional investigation or preemptive sanctions imposed on us by the humans.

But then I made some research on the Wolves' Way guidelines and, based on my findings, I was pretty sure we would come out of this unscathed. Most importantly though, I kept thinking about the day when I broke down in Lars' office, and he did more than pick up the pieces with kindness. He had reminded me of my humanity and my dignity.

Owen's mark still burned on my shoulder, but somewhere else in my body - sometimes in my chest, sometimes lower, in my belly, there was a little wandering light. A tiny star that lit corners of my soul I had forgotten in the last two years. Revealing faded pictures in which my parents were filling our house with love.

Love for their bonded. My father Mike wrapping a blanket around my father Scott who had fallen asleep on the couch after a terrible raid. My mother Selma waking up every day without fail to cook breakfast for us and draw a little jam heart on my mother Astrid's plate.

Love for their four pack. My mothers covering shifts so that my fathers can have a full moon date night. My fathers taking me for an adventure day so that my mothers could have some child-free time.

Love for me. Scott teaching me how to dance - first the pre-schooler discombobulated routines, later waltzes and tangoes. Selma patiently watching me masacre kitchen ingredients while I fought my way to perfect muffins. Mike filling cocoa cups and bringing me unsolicited snacks while I was studying for finals. Astrid being always, always there, with a hug, with a kiss, with an ironic remark against Fate that made any problem seem solvable.

I had gone over these images before, but it was like watching it all through a foggy lens. My brain had theoretical memories of being held in the safety of a family, of strong bonds, of a healthy pack-mind, but I had completely forgotten how that felt like.

And now, there was this little wandering light, activating old connections, unfreezing nerves that had stopped working when Owen had taken ownership of my body and my thoughts.  Awakening legs which suddenly wanted to move further than the house and the training field, maybe in the direction of one of those parties where Eino and Raya were going. Tingling in fingers that wanted to put some cream on the red scratch that extended from Lars' left ear down to his collar bone, there where he was obliviously plunging his claws more or less deeply these days.

Because, as things usually are, it seemed that the sum of anxiety was bound to stay constant in our household.

While I swayed on my newly found bits of calm, the Alpha walked around with a frown, his wolf hovering at his surface, probably eager to respond to any threat with fangs. Unlike his predecessor, who regulated himself by lashing out at whoever happened to be in his way, Lars tied up tightly both Lightning and his stress, burying both into work. He spent his morning savagely training with Eino and then in his office, leading long trade and alliance negotiations. He used his afternoons for helping omega families renovate their houses and, in the bitter cold of late autumn evenings he built away at his greenhouse. And when the work was done, he smoked pot furiously, quickly exceeding the level which allowed him to knock on my door and ask me to run with him and heading directly into a stoned, cold, silent one that preceded a slow crawl to his quarters.

Tonight at dinner his chair is again empty and everybody finishes their meal in record time. Soon it is just the three of us, Raya, Eino, and myself, cleaning the table.

I let them go by themselves to the kitchen and make us a coffee and when I join them with the rest of the dishes, they already have a heated argument.

"Look, let's ask Isabel," Eino growls at his female, showing her a sharp fang that is completely unimpressive for her wolfless eyes.